A bicycle owner, sick of his ride being molested by a mystery masturbator, set up a video camera to catch the villain in the act. [The Local]

25 Responses to “Bicycle sexually assaulted”

  1. Dan Hibiki says:

    never going to click that link…

  2. Donald Petersen says:

    But why does the Mysterbator also pop the tires?  Dick move in more ways than one.

  3. dabe2 says:

    Seriously risky click. 

  4. Slowermo says:

    If Internet comments were just my response as if this was spoken to me:

    Um, …what?

  5. crenquis says:

    A bicycle?  What a #^&!(% sicko! 
    That’s like getting turned on by an anorexic twelve year old… Now, put a John Deere between my legs and I’ll show ya what being a man is all about!

  6. chgoliz says:

    There’s more to it: it seems the perpetrator is holding a photo in his hands while he does this.  The couple are concerned that it’s a photo of her (it’s also her bike).

    Also: the link goes to a news story.  You don’t have to view the video.

  7. hooeezit says:

    Pray, what’s the link between slashing bicycle tires and jacking off? Is the first act just spiteful? If that’s the case, the bicycle itself is not getting sexually assaulted, just vandalized. The lewd acts committed in public are a separate nuisance.

    PS: I have not seen the video and the link is just a written article that doesn’t quite clarify the situation

  8. bryan rasmussen says:

    Of all the characters to cross into reality who would have predicted Steve the Drunk?

  9. Navin_Johnson says:

    Cover the bike in chili pepper juice?

    Would this make one a registered sex offender in the U.S.? I enjoyed the non-hysterical, matter of fact way the Swedes described how he was dealt with: In the hospital getting some mental help. No bigs…

  10. llazy8 says:

    Glorified panty sniffer 

  11. Bark says:

    Certainly someone has a copy of The Third Policeman around that can quote that very, um, sensual paragraph about the bicycle.

  12. LogrusZed says:

    Maybe if it was a P3 Carbon with Zips front and back, then I could see it. 

  13. Damn you, Rule 34!  Damn you to hell!

  14. jhertzli says:

    ObSF: “Machine Screw” by John Sladek

  15. Bikehound says:

    More onanism than bicycle sex. but yes there is something disturbing about this. Maybe he is related to the phanton saddle sniffer that was going around the UK recently?

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