Florida monkey escapes and wreaks havoc on Orlando. Again.

Zeek the monkey escaped his owner's home in a suburb of Orlando, Florida. Within hours after escaping, he accomplished a lot. He chewed on a neighbor's mail, pulled molding off a police car, and was found rocking back and forth on a street sign.

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As funny as this headline is, Jesus Christ what is wrong with people that they think it's cool to keep a goddamned monkey as a household pet? Rocking back and forth like that sounds to me like a sign the poor little primate was experiencing stress.

What's worse, this is not the first time Zeek has escaped. In 2012, this happened more than once with the same owner and the same captive wild animal. Why is this man still allowed to keep this highly intelligent creature in his home? Because Florida, I guess.

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He was picked up by the Sanford police and safely transported to his owner, according to the police department's Facebook page:

Shortly after 8:00 a.m., we received a call from a Sanford resident that lives in the Hidden Lakes subdivision reporting that a monkey was eating mail out of a mailbox. When we arrived to help the monkey, later identified at Zeek, decided to pull off molding from one of our patrol cars. We were able to distract Zeek with a bottle of water until his owner came and retrieved him.

"Zeek had a little fun with our patrol car," the police department reported, with this video.

[via AP]

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