Court rules that X-Men are "nonhuman creatures"

Marvel has obtained a ruling in a trade-court that the X-Men are "nonhuman creatures," and hence classified as "toys," which are imported at a lower tax-rate than "dolls." This, of course, is very distressing to X-Menophiles, who have spent decades following the funnybook struggles of the mutant superheroes to be recognized as human by the bigots and fearmongers of the Marvelverse.

In her chambers at the U.S. Court of International Trade, in New York, the judge examined Prof. X and the rest of his band of X-Men, all of them little plastic figures at the heart of a six-year tariff battle between their owner, Marvel Enterprises Inc., and the U.S. Customs Service.

Her ruling thundered through the world of Marvel Comics fans. The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human, she decreed Jan. 3. Nor are many of the villains who do battle with Spiderman and the Fantastic Four. They're all "nonhuman creatures," concluded Judge Barzilay.

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