Hilarious first-person account of one man's dark journey into a Friendster-induced obsessive-compulsive stupor.
That first weekend I literally locked myself in my room, sleepless and
without eating. It was raining hard outside and I was hooked into this
network. The stuff is hitting me like crack, fully addictive and I'm
going psychotic. I must learn this thing, figure it out, understand its
magic, fully understand all the people on it, more more more more more.
I start messing around with my profile page constantly. All of a sudden
my profile says "occupation: fiendster." For every prompt, I put in
something fiendster. For favorite books, its 'Fiendster for Dummies.'
Favorite TV Show: 'Fiendster, the Reality Show.' For interests, well,
naturally, I put 'Fiendster.' Late into the weekend, sleepless and
unfed, I had a headache. My eyes stung. My shoulders and neck burned.
Back stiff. My feet and legs were always falling asleep. My butt ached
from the chair. I kept on surfing.(…)The first week I'm on, the site adds 15,000 users. Its a year old and
I was user 83,000 or so. Do the math. This place is on fire and
growing out of control. Started by Silicon Valley VC dorks before 9/11
and weakly launched to little fanfare in early 2002, it went largely
unnoticed until it hit pockets of extremely wired young socialites- club
kids, ravers, goths, burning man freaks and so on in early 2003. I
figure out that the site had doubled in users in its past month. Wow,
this is a scene. There is no revenue stream at all and the site is still
in beta.I'd settled into this bizarre new mode encouraged by my Friendster
addiction, an unlikely trinity of Narcissism, Sycophancy and Voyeurism….
On the narcissistic front, I was a changed man. Rereading my own
profile page, and refilling out the forms over and over again, I was
seeing myself from every possible angle. I was getting a new
testimonial from someone every day, some kind of random glowing praise
that warmly fuels your ego. I was rereading my growing collection of
these constantly. I cycled through almost every flattering photo I had
of myself on my page. I planned to buy and quickly acquired a cheap
digital camera to take Friendster pictures with. I started shaving
regularly to look good in the pictures. I was learning what angles I
photographed better in. I took more photographs of myself in one week
than had ever been taken in any week of my entire life.
Update: For the record, there's no Friendster playa-hatin' going on here. Thomas, who forwarded the item, says: "This article was written by Terbo Ted… whatever disappointing hype or feelings of silliness you might have experienced with friendster, it really worked for me. I instantly found my soulmates and connected like a lightning bolt… it changed my life big time. Not that I use it that much, but I am ever so grateful I did."
