Far-right UK party releases excruciating, racist comedy song

Mike Read, a former BBC disk jockey, has recorded "UKIP Calypso", a song named for the British anti-immigrant party and a style of music stereotypically associated with the mid-century immigrants of his generation. Yes, complete with terrible "Jamaican" accent!

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If nothing else, it's a reminder of the talentless mediocrity of 20th century Britain's light entertainment monoculture; the lyrics, as transcribed by Us vs Th3m, are posted below.

Note the cover of the song proves that UKIP leader Nigel Farage is approximately 3 feet tall.


Tax payers money where does it go?

Not even George Osborne knows

When we're in power and we engage

There will be no tax on minimum wage

Our leaders committed a cardinal sin

Open the borders let them all come in

Illegal immigrants in every town

Stand up and be counted Blair and Brown


Oh yes when we take charge

And the new Prime Minister is Farage

We can trade with the world again

When Nigel is at number 10

The British People have been let down

That's why UKIP is making ground

From Crewe to Cleethorpes to Outer Hendon

They don't believe Cameron's referendum

Coalition could be a fact

With any party we could make a pact

Stop telling lies about us too

And we'll stop telling the truth about you


Though our pension scheme is in a mess

We need money for the NHS

With Jean-Claude Juncker we're giving away

55 million every day

Oh what a farce, he won the vote

This is my favourite Juncker quote

He looked the reporters straight in the eyes

"When things get serious it's time to lie"


The EU live in wonderland

Tried to ban bent bananas and British jam

We don't want jam the EU way

Jam yesterday, tomorrow and never today

The daily polls suggest somehow

UKIP are the third party now

In the Euro elections we were so immersed

We weren't the third party, we were the first


When the government's sitting on the fence
UKIP policies make more sense
Get out of Europe, is our target
Common wealth and not common market

Other parties please take note

UKIP is not a protest vote

So mark your cross and by word of mouth

Tell them what to do in Thanet South


With the EU we must be on our mettle

They want to change our lawnmowers and our kettles

Our hairdryers, smartphones and vacuum cleaners

But UKIP is wise to their misdemeanours

Farage he likes his fags and beer

But there's one thing I want to get clear

Now I like Nigel he's a friend of mine

He appears on Dimbleby on Question Time


The other parties will count the costings

In Eastleigh, Thurrock and Bow they're lost in

Labour and Tories shaking in their boots

When UKIP kick them up the grassroots

Meanwhile down on Clacton-on-Sea

UKIP are making history

Douglas Carswell is quite adamant

Will be the first MP in parliament