Mike Read, a former BBC disk jockey, has recorded "UKIP Calypso", a song named for the British anti-immigrant party and a style of music stereotypically associated with the mid-century immigrants of his generation. Yes, complete with terrible "Jamaican" accent!
If nothing else, it's a reminder of the talentless mediocrity of 20th century Britain's light entertainment monoculture; the lyrics, as transcribed by Us vs Th3m, are posted below.
Note the cover of the song proves that UKIP leader Nigel Farage is approximately 3 feet tall.
Tax payers money where does it go?
Not even George Osborne knows
When we're in power and we engage
There will be no tax on minimum wageOur leaders committed a cardinal sin
Open the borders let them all come in
Illegal immigrants in every town
Stand up and be counted Blair and BrownChorus:
Oh yes when we take charge
And the new Prime Minister is Farage
We can trade with the world again
When Nigel is at number 10The British People have been let down
That's why UKIP is making ground
From Crewe to Cleethorpes to Outer Hendon
They don't believe Cameron's referendumCoalition could be a fact
With any party we could make a pact
Stop telling lies about us too
And we'll stop telling the truth about you[Chorus]
Though our pension scheme is in a mess
We need money for the NHS
With Jean-Claude Juncker we're giving away
55 million every dayOh what a farce, he won the vote
This is my favourite Juncker quote
He looked the reporters straight in the eyes
"When things get serious it's time to lie"[Chorus]
The EU live in wonderland
Tried to ban bent bananas and British jam
We don't want jam the EU way
Jam yesterday, tomorrow and never todayThe daily polls suggest somehow
UKIP are the third party now
In the Euro elections we were so immersed
We weren't the third party, we were the first[Chorus]
When the government's sitting on the fence
UKIP policies make more sense
Get out of Europe, is our target
Common wealth and not common marketOther parties please take note
UKIP is not a protest vote
So mark your cross and by word of mouth
Tell them what to do in Thanet South[chorus]
With the EU we must be on our mettle
They want to change our lawnmowers and our kettles
Our hairdryers, smartphones and vacuum cleaners
But UKIP is wise to their misdemeanoursFarage he likes his fags and beer
But there's one thing I want to get clear
Now I like Nigel he's a friend of mine
He appears on Dimbleby on Question Time[chorus]
The other parties will count the costings
In Eastleigh, Thurrock and Bow they're lost in
Labour and Tories shaking in their boots
When UKIP kick them up the grassrootsMeanwhile down on Clacton-on-Sea
UKIP are making history
Douglas Carswell is quite adamant
Will be the first MP in parliament[chorus]
