"Saying that staying in its current location was no longer feasible, sources across San Francisco confirmed Thursday that the popular Northern California city would be shutting its doors at the end of the month due to rising rent."
"The city's in such a great area, but ultimately we just couldn't find a way to make ends meet each month," said San Francisco resident Jaime Gonzalez, speaking on behalf of the city's 850,000 citizens, all of whom recently gave notice that they would be vacating the premises by July 1. "We've been here for so long, it's hard to imagine this city anywhere else. But the reality is that we just aren't making enough to justify what we pay to be here."
"Unfortunately, we just can't afford to keep San Francisco in San Francisco Bay," Gonzalez added.
"Report: San Francisco To Shut Doors Over Rising Rent" (The Onion, 'natch)
