I know she doesn't specifically say that these are all emails from Brands™ or PR people — but I think we all know the truth. Either way, that's some beautiful god damn poetry.
This poem is called "First lines of emails I've received while quarantining." pic.twitter.com/4keCqPaO63
— Jessica Salfia (@jessica_salfia) April 11, 2020
Image: John Cummings / Wikimedia Commons (CC 4.0)