How the CDC would act in a zombie outbreak

I have a strangely fond memory of the CDC from the Zika Virus outbreak of 2016. The company I was with at the time had scheduled a remote all-staff retreat in Puerto Rico, just a few weeks after it started. It was a large enough company that the CDC communication team was willing to grant us a private, off-the-record conversation to answer our questions about the risks of the mosquito-borne microcephaly ravaging the Caribbean. Sounds great, right?

Let's just say that the Center's candid equivocation regarding literally everywhere reached a point where the company's typically-buttoned-up and straight-laced CFO barked into the phone, "Just tell me how long I should wait before I ejaculate into my wife's vagina."

Naturally, the CDC responded to this with a vague and noncommittal sort of "Well there are always risks with pregnancy." And that was the most useful thing we got out of them.

I was reminded me of this when I watched the video below, of how the Center might respond in the case of an actual real life zombie outbreak.

That being said, the CDC does have a fun little tongue-in-check Official Zombie Preparedness guide — which is also sort of useless.

Image: Public Domain via Pixabay