I always felt like Disney was trying to keep me at arm's length when I was a little boy. Despite how much adults tried to push Disney flicks on me, I never found the majority of the company's offerings enticing. It's hard enough for most five-year-old boys to relate to an endless cavalcade of princess content, but the task becomes a herculean feat when Batman: Mask of the Phantasm exists on the same aisle at Blockbuster.
My ambivalence towards Disney notwithstanding, there were still a few movies that were able to pole vault my defenses and resonate with me. Aladdin, Tarzan, and Hercules might have been my personal gold standard, but Pinocchio was a solid bronze entry.
Unfortunately, Disney seems intent on making me hate one of the few films from their vault that I genuinely dig with the trailer featured above. That's right, folks; Pinocchio is about to receive the reverse Midas touch that is a live-action Disney remake.