Learn to sharpen pencils

Exhibit A: Matthew James Taylor's The Art of Sharpening Pencils (Styles & Techniques), a website you can go to right now that gets right to the point.

Exhibit B: How to Sharpen Pencils by David Rees (previously at Boing Boing), which goes well beyond the point, but only once it's gotten there.

Exhibit C: A longpoint pencil sharpener [Amazon], so all your pencils can be as lethal and menacing as mine.