The first videos of the Studio Ghibli park are here

It's hard not to be jealous of kids once you hit your 30s. Aside from their ability to live rent-free and have a pair of servants that act as chefs and chauffeurs 24/7, kids always have access to the coolest stuff. Whenever I flip through the stretch of children's channels on my television, I often catch myself despising the younger generation for how awesome all the new toys look. Yeah, my generation had RC cars that could rotate their front wheels, but modern kids have drones. That's checkmate in one move.

And the bounty of dope things kids have access to doesn't stop at just toys. Have you been to a theme park lately? They're all on entertainment steroids. From Legoland to Disneyworld, the quality of theme parks should be incentive enough for any childless couple to start preemptively requesting time off for maternity leave. When you take your kids to Legoland, you're forming core memories for them and making up for lost time on your own end. How is that not a win-win?

Take the new Studio Ghibli park, for example. Why would they wait to invent this as soon as I started grappling with the existential dread of my inevitable mortality? That hardly seems fair to me. You can check out footage of the park in the video linked above.