Commiserate with this adorable Existential Crisis Duck lamp

Though you can find it on Amazon as a "Lying Flat Duck Night Light" or a "Flat Duck Night Light Nursery Night Light" or "Squishy Nursery Cute Duck Night Light," whoever decided to buy the dedicated URL of ExistentialCrisisDuck.com is the real marketing genius here. Sure, duck lights for babies are cute — but have you been seriously depressed, bro? Have I got a nightlight for you!

Here's how this particularly savvy distributor describes their product:

Just Your Everyday Duck Having An Existential Crisis

It was, in all regards, an average day in Duck's average life when he suddenly asked himself "Who am I?".

Since then, he's been thinking a lot about the meaning of life, wondering if there is something more for a duck than just quacking…

Loyal Companion
Thanks to its wireless design you can take the Existential Crisis Duck lamp with you everywhere you go, making it a perfect luminous friend when you need it.

Cozy Night Light
The Existential Crisis Duck features a carefully designed silicone body which feels soft to the touch and, a warm glow which will turn off automatically after 30 minutes so you can drift off peacefully.

Adjust Light To Match Mood
Use your Existential Crisis Duck as a reading lamp or as a soft bedside light. Choose between three different light settings by gently tapping the Existential Crisis Duck's back.

Absolutely perfect marketing copy. No notes.

Existential Crisis Duck