A rumor began circulating on TikTok this summer that Brigham Young University, with its majority Mormon student population, had recently suffered from an outbreak of public lice. Except the students weren't getting the itchy little crabs on their crotches, because they're obviously having sex outside of marriage. They were in the students' armpit hairs. Because sometimes, you still get horny — especially in college — and you gotta find some way to temper those hormones. So you fuck someone in the armpit, using their deodorant as a lube.
Rolling Stone looked into this uniquely kinky rumor (along with some other supposed Mormon college sex-alternatives). While they couldn't find any proof of this particular armpit public lice outbreak … that doesn't mean it didn't happen, or that it's beyond the realm of possibility:
The Gumbo Crab user confirmed to Rolling Stone they'd heard the armpit rumor from a TikTok video that circulated in July from an ex-Mormon couple, Jordan and McKay, who posted about the alleged crabs outbreak in July, dancing together and trying to smush their armpits into one another's. A smattering of TikTokers, including other ex-Mormons, posted videos about armpit STDs around the same time. "If u think your life is bad or you're making poor decisions just remember there's couples in Provo, Utah, who get armpit STDs," one user wrote.
Catching crabs in one's armpit isn't impossible, according to Dr. Sue Milstein, a human sexuality educator. "It's totally within the realm of possibility to spread crabs that way," she says. "Crabs like to live in all the hair except like the hair in your head." The lice can appear in chest hair, mustaches, eyebrows, and armpit hair. It's also possible for crabs to wind up in an armpit without direct genitalia-to-pit contact, Milstein says, since they can also live for a day or two away from human hosts with the potential to spread through bedding or towels. Another online rumor suggested there'd been an armpit chlamydia outbreak in 2017. Dr. Milstein says that's almost certainly not true. "For chlamydia, you need more sexual fluids," she says.
It's a weirdly fascinating read, if for no other reason than to see how people can rationalize the moral trade-offs of coffee and porn.
A Rumor About a Crabs Outbreak at Brigham Young University Sparks Talk of Armpit Sex [Andrea Marks / Rolling Stone]
Image: National Museum of Health and Medicine / Flickr (CC-BY-SA 2.0)