I saw a great post by Will Jefferson on the Mountain Goats Shitposting group I'm part of on Facebook. It said: "What if Jeff and Cyrus did settle on a name but no one could read it?" It made me laugh out loud. (If you don't get the joke, go listen to the video I'm including with this post).
It also made me go poke around online to see if I could find a site where I could make my own indecipherable metal logo. And of course that exists. First, I had to have a name for my fictional metal band, so I found this site, called "Metal Band Name Generator" (it's free!) which crated ten names for me: Haunted Cinder; Gates of Gates; Master of Eternity; Iron Sanity; Sober Tomb; Enthroned Satan; Wounded Throne; Steel Shadow; Obscure Sphere; and Awakened Goat. I decided to go with "Haunted Cinder" because my best friend's corgi is named Cinder, so it was funny in multiple ways.
Then I went to Place It (also free!) and input my new fake metal band's name and chose from a variety of metal fonts to create a logo. Here's the result (the cover image for this post)! Yup, bingo!—completely indecipherable! Now, go play around with your own indecipherable fake metal band names and logos!