Behold the amazing shit blanket of 2022

Meet Madelyn, who spent all of 2022 crocheting what she calls her "shit blanket." It's her own take on the much more popular "temperature blanket," where folks use different stiches and colors of yarn to reflect the daily temperatures where they live. Instead of using a blanket to record temperature, Madelyn decided to document her pooping habits. As she explains in this year-end summary, each day of the year got one row in the blanket. The color of the yarn reflects how many shits she took the previous day. The type of shit determined which stitch she used. The blanket contains 100,000 stiches and took over 6,000 hours to make.

She introduces the charts, scales, and descriptions she used here. I won't go into all the details, but here's a sneak peek: for a "bonkers loose shit" she used a shell stitch, for a "a lil' loosey goosey" shit she used a lemon peel stitch, for a zero-shit day, she used cream white yarn, for a one-shit day she used sage green. I'll spare you the rest, but just know that her daily counts go up to five, and she documents at least six 'types' or 'textures.'

Here's her year-end wrap, which provides useful statistics like: 

total number of shits: 622

longest time without shitting: 2 days

closest came to shitting pants: 1 minute

muber of cats fallen asleep in blanket 2

most number of shits in a month: 58

least number of shits in a month: 44

Someone commented on her journey: "I can honestly say you are probably the only person to have ever done this in all human history. You have done something truly special." Special, indeed! Who knew Crochet TikTok was so exciting? Well, maybe lots of people did. But I didn't, until now. I wonder what else it might have in store?