This animation by Alex Z shows how a giant octopus handles it when someone parks like a jerk. The octopus simply climbs atop the car and crushes it in one big squeeze. I can't believe it took me all these years to find out about the solution to a rude double parker. I need to get a giant octopus to use for these kinds of troubling vehicular situations, asap. Next time someone double parks, they're in for a surprise.
Here's a VFX breakdown from the video's creator, Ghost3dee.
"When you park like a jackass, a giant alien octopus comes and crushes your car. "
Previously: Terrific overview of octopus biology