Miracle MAGA water provides instant freedom with every sip

Turning Point USA has just unveiled the most groundbreaking invention since holy water: Freedom2O, the water that literally gives you freedom.

No longer will you have to rely on woke things like the Constitution or the Bill of Rights to protect your free speech. All you need is a swig of this magical elixir and BAM! Instant liberty coursing through your veins.

But wait, there's more! Not only does Freedom2O quench your thirst for hydration, it also quenches your thirst for rebellion. As the speaker so eloquently put it, "It's not just refreshing. It's rebellious and it's unapologetic to drink this in public."

Nothing owns the libs like publicly consuming a plastic bottle of overpriced water.

Previously: What is "thick water" and what does it taste like?