The coat of arms of the Swiss canton of Bern features a bear. The bear has a penis¹. It's not a big penis, but it is right there, and some people wanted it gone. The cantonal government, having considered the issue, decided to keep the penis.
The bear has a tradition that goes back at least 600 years and has been represented in this way since the 15th century, it said. … The bear has always been depicted on official documents with a red phallus. In view of this tradition, the cantonal government believed that it was reasonable to continue to depict the bear in this way. Nor did it wish to conduct an online survey on the bear's future appearance. In its view, such a survey would not be representative and would have little informative value.
Looking at the context, it turns out that the complaint is not prudishness but a desire for a cantonal symbol to better represent the whole population, including women. With this egalitarian thought in mind, I propose Bernese folks could use Futanari Freddy Fazbear as a kind of unofficial mascot in communications, sporting events and other public demonstrations of cantonal pride. Does the canton have a theme tune? Surasshu's The Penis (Eek!) would be just perfect.
Note that Wales has the opposite problem: its dragon lacks a penis that some believe should be present.
1. "Gules, on a bend or, a bear passant sable, langued, armed and vilené of the field."
Previously:
• The world's average flag
• College of Arms issues rules for managing coats of arms in same-sex marriages
