Six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure

(UPDATE: I put the wrong timestamp on this post, so it got buried. I'm putting it back at the top of the stack, so everyone has a chance to join the fun.)

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is an anthology of several hundred six-word autobiographies. I wish all tombstones came with stories like these:

Kentucky trash heap yields unexpected flower. -- John Kurtz

Changing mind postponed demise by decades. -- Scott O'Neil

Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl. -- Michael Eisner

Didn't pull out. Downhill from there. -- Roger Daubach

Thought I would have more impact. -- Kevin Clark

Yes, you can edit my biography. -- Jimmy Wales

Must remember: people, gadgets. That order. -- Brian Lam

What's your six-word memoir? Add it to the comments. Link

• [LOLcat Stevens]

  Autobiography:

  My name’s on Mars – Hell yes!

  Biography:

  Illegible microscopic scribble. Who’s this chump?

• [Rossifumi]

  Life, don’t leave home without it.

• [Umpqua]

  I’m making sure it never reads:

  “Sat on couch a lot. Damn.”

• [whenindeepshit]

  Don’t waste it blogging. Get laid!

• [Anonymous]

  Everything done will mean more someday

• [anthony]

  sweeter and simpler than you’d expect.

• [anthony]

  All wounds were slight save one?

• [Russell Letson]

  For the halves of my life:

  Always got his essays graded promptly.
  Did his best writing on deadline.

• [modati]

  its one of two i guess:
  alas, i guess i wont understand

  eternity: i can see it now

• [Antinous]

  Guns and drag don’t mix well.

• [trillyumyum]

  I have not lived in vain—Samuel Hahnemann

• [mathus]

  Saw seeing, lost equilibrium redirected experiments

  right about them, they’re us, fuck

• [yatima]

  You are what life is for.

• [certron]

  Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.
  ~
  What does this button do? Oh.
  ~
  Should have bought Wal-mart, Exxon, Berkshire.
  ~
  Packed spare parachute? Maybe next time.

• [Van Diemen]

  Roamed many countries. Like mine best.

• [evener]

  “Energy equals mass times squared lightspeed” – A. Einstein

• [Jeff]

  The End Is Near. Repent Now!

  Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

• [License Farm]

  Wrote everything but what I wanted.

  or

  Anything I could say depresses me.

• [xesnrocinu]

  material possession is not human progression

• [themindfantastic]

  Definitely afraid of falling from heights.

• [starcadia]

  Only 10,000 more years until enlightenment!

• [windybt]

  Hesitation took away all my chances.

• [JY Yang]

  Everything all for this, I guess.

• [insomma]

  living as long as life permits

  or

  never really worried, resting in peace

• [Anonymous]

  life of the party, designated driver.

• [lmegliol]

  Learned much. Never really knew anything.

• [Rickmccl]

  Bye, thanks for all the fish.

  for Doctor Nakamats:

  Floppy disk first in long string.

  • [Anonymous]

    I thought I would be one of the only ones

• [johnnycomelately]

  I lost, feared loss, lost everything.
  ___________

  …then I thought I might escape…
  ____________

  I knew she had a husband?

• [carlton]

  What? Me flunk English? That’s unpossible!

• [Anonymous]

  Crazier every day, wiser every year.

• [Adam Keck]

  Died with most toys. I win.

• [Adam Keck]

  Cancer. Wish I had more time…

• [InnerPeacenik]

  That was fun! What happens now?

  or

  Played Hide and Seek with God

  or

  Old too soon, wise too late

• [Rossifumi]

  Freewill and fate always converged

• [Rinchen]

  Live in hope. Die in despair.

• [The Thompson Five]

  Hey, does red mean it’s on?

• [Anonymous]

  Life left me, now you too.
  Back to the beginning, but worse.
  I’m losing you and you’re here.
  When you leave, who’ll be here?
  I’ll be next to you forever.

• [Anonymous]

  Rules are meant to be broken

• [Anonymous]

  will she ever know my feelings?

• [xesnrocinu]

  i just thought of more, and i do realize that wasn’t really a direct memoir.

  i’m proud i stopped shaving

  and

  not too cool to have fun.

  :)

• [Hell’s Donut House]

  Pay attention, you will be tested.

• [Takuan]

  I can quit anytime I want

• [jcartan]

  Came, saw, took lots of naps

  Danced, wondered, searched, found, lost, accepted

  Life takes longer than you think

• [cassiet]

  waiting for what’s next.. always waiting.

• [sphenga]

  with timid gumption adventures were found.

• [LucyLee]

  silent screams drown out screaming silence

• [Spinningmind]

  Thought much. Accomplished little. Still happy.

• [Anonymous]

  Wake me up for my graduation.

• [Zuty]

  All I Need: Soap, Socks, Sandwiches.

• [joanna]

  Despite warnings, never minded the gap.

• [mdhatter]

  A little dab will do you.

• [Jeff]

  What a waste of good words.

• [Takuan]

  I told you I was sick

• [Who]

  Tricycles, girls, sunrises, sushi, begin again.

• [Takuan]

  conveyor or not, it takes off

• [Anonymous]

  great life, flipped upside down, unstoppable.

• [V]

  I thought there’d be more monkeys.

• [triakter]

  There actually is no secret sauce.

• [kmiranda]

  Without love, exists life without happiness

• [Anonymous]

  Born mature… went downhill from there

• [Fnarf]

  Told you I wasn’t feeling well.

• [Anonymous]

  College sucks. Classes fine. Friends insincere.

• [Nobilis]

  At forty, you figure it out.

• [lors15]

  Silence isn’t golden; need my voice.

• [tempophage]

  Child, Soldier, Husband, Father, next . . . death.

• [Sweet Petunia]

  Stay out of the mud, hon.

• [mikeout]

  Amassed a most impressive CD collection.

• [Alan]

  Alone. Proved man IS an island

• [Ian70]

  I’ll just use Freddie Mercury’s 6-word bigraphy:
  “Singer of songs, lover of life.”

• [mkhobson]

  I never knew what hit me.

• [wildweasel]

  Please, Mom, just one more game!

• [ill lich]

  This cemetery is just wasted space.

• [Anonymous]

  Brevity is not my strong suit.

• [Anonymous]

  These violent delights have violent ends.

• [adamblast]

  Acted. Like he had a life.

• [plousia]

  Desperate misery, but God, redeemed living.

• [thesarahbird]

  Film school was a bad idea.

• [Anonymous]

  Hey, is anyone recording this?

• [Anonymous]

  7 words? Never was good at math.

• [thesarahbird]

  Film school was a bad idea.

• [o0oo00o0o]

  Maybe I should have compromised more?

• [Anonymous]

  Oh shit! I forgot to do that!

• [phill]

  Coffee, code and marijuana. Terrible lover.

• [tinyghosts]

  “Save me!” she begged. I couldn’t.

  -=-

  The water’s rising faster now. Goodbye.

  -=-

  He seemed so sweet. At first.

• [Anonymous]

  A Happening waiting for an accident. –Tristan MacAvery

• [luistxo]

  I have never been good at math

• [korrontean]

  Had fun, tried to be good.

• [Goob]

  Married to exwife 150 pounds ago.

• [whenindeepshit]

  When in thought, rode a bicycle

• [ryan]

  Thought I’d be awesome by now.

• [reliable]

  Dont procrastinate now – do it later.

• [darlinwench]

  This is your life- you’re lost.

• [Chickie Pants]

  This hurts more than I thought.

• [jcartan]

  Provided warm lap for numerous cats

• [A Salty Dog]

  life scientist: experimented with everything (period)

• [Nato Welch]

  Savored Slack.
  Loved All.
  Prefer myself.

• [Anonymous]

  Scared of heights, bored on ground.

• [art by bennett]

  Let gratitude be your attitude. There!
  -an AA slogan

  Reduce, reuse, recycle. Nothing more needed.

  Will someone please buy my Art!

  Jesus is coming! Hide your bong!
  -a bumper sticker

• [mercedes]

  This time is THE. LAST. TIME.

• [Barkalounger]

  Always cared enough to follow directions properly.

• [jaguarcy]

  Too bored to finish anything

• [Anonymous]

  Isn’t slowed by hesitation; lives on.

• [Anonymous]

  Are you going to eat that?

• [robin_hood]

  Believe mother. Toast in bathtub bad.

• [ill lich]

  He was some guy, now compost.

• [Tenn]

  Despite warnings, walked into the light.
  We’ll see who’s right now, Christianity!
  Would be, she is, she was.
  You kids get off my crypt!
  I’m six feet closer to China!
  Warning. Don’t hold beer and watch.

• [lf]

  Never stopped moving until the end

• [Cazart]

  Never was any good at rules.

• [Tenn]

  Was late to her own funeral.

• [morestuff]

  what happens if I do this?

• [Lauren E16]

  “Feeling stronger, after all the pain”

  “They only know who i was”

  “Being 16 isn’t always so sweet”

• [mesrop]

  before my time, by thousand years.

• [aluxeterna]

  These comments have jumped the shark.

• [mesrop]

  Killed my god, love my humanity.

• [jcartan]

  What is there to say, really?

• [Kristi]

  Found her time to emerge amaranthine.

• [WardenStreets]

  Divorce almost final, things looking up.

• [Wordweaverlynn]

  Stories saved me, so I write.

  Oh, how I loved the world.

• [Hawkman]

  I think therefore I am late

• [andyhavens]

  More words! More words! What a

• [morestuff]

  you must be present to win.

• [Jeff]

  Very telling words, inner truths revealed.

  What is this, a flash confession?

• [megachan]

  Try it, you might like it!

• [Anonymous]

  I’ve your mistake in my body.

• [tom s]

  Unfortunately, five words is enough.

  • [Anonymous]

    It’s not, not in this world.

• [PeaceLove]

  Act One: ADHD. Act Two: Pending.

• [Adventure Books of Seattle]

  People YES, Corporations WATCH, Exploration GO.

• [DaedalusAloft]

  Re-spawn in 3, 2, 1… Crap.

• [palindromic]

  Born, lived, exhaled, recursed, trepidation and?

• [stuartcw]

  Went to Japan, never came back.

• [Takuan]

  I’m off to kick god’s ass

• [Takuan]

  old too soon, smart too late (alright, not mine, but good)

• [guru dorian verve fone]

  Who am I to say no?

• [Takuan]

  You! Quit standing on my grave!

• [Anonymous]

  it’s just you and me world…..

• [fnord]

  Must I live this life alone?

• [obdan]

  I couldn’t get it to go

• [CrossCompiler]

  Stopped anthropomorphizing theists at age five.

• [Doctor Device]

  Not sure, not done living yet.

• [Cheqyr]

  Comment number twenty-three nails it.

• [minTphresh]

  never had much use for it.

• [DRensin]

  Been there. Done that. What’s next?

• [Anonymous]

  Smart; yet so many hidden layers

  *

  The extreme master of suspense is

• [zhivago]

  Life is a chair of bullies

• [Guru]

  Loved God, Kids, Wife, work. Happiness!

• [wayn3w]

  This is all there is — really.

• [raisedbywolves]

  Reckless leaper finds soft landing.

• [minTphresh]

  a side note in art history.

• [Anonymous]

  Ruth fills empty void: Wife disagree’s

  read this somewhere, a guy was describing his affair

• [Anonymous]

  cant…stop…reading…boing…boing…comments

• [Chinpokomon]

  I can’t in less than seven.

• [faroutfive]

  Did the best I could. Tired.

• [Anonymous]

  that crazy kid on the roof
  frootloop in a bowl of cheerios
  scared of heights and still climbing
  go green, live large, then die

• [potatocube]

  Emptied by women, swimming in booze.

• [franklymydear]

  Craving order, loving chaos, making due.

• [franklymydear]

  It’s a dog’s life. If only!

• [Chinpokomon]

  Learn this one thing, it’s critical,

  -or-

  Before I passed, I wished I’d

  -or-

  Take time to finish what you

• [Adventure Books of Seattle]

  ‘I took an online explosives cour…’

• [bxrguy]

  My two favourites from the article that started all this:

  Margaret Atwood: “Longed for him. Got him. Shit.”

  Joss Whedon: “Gown removed carefully. Head less so.”

• [Anonymous]

  born a patriot, died knowing better

• [Chinpokomon]

  And my favorite… OK, really two for 12 words, but they could be used on their own or together:

  I’m just to the good part,
  Now I’ll never know what happens.

• [rEVDAVID]

  A tourist returned home as carry on.

• [Anonymous]

  lonely. junk. Christ. adoption. joy. eternity.

• [m3ch4h0m0]

  Screwed up childhood, still reliving it.

• [Eduardo]

  Too long for me.

• [Anonymous]

  You? Different? Yeah, i thought so

• [Anonymous]

  my favorites that i made

  ~I’m a person, not a door mat.~
  ~Zebra Print: no exact match; unique.~

• [phill]

  Explosion. What awesome way to die.

• [Abbey]

  Not like I planned. It’s better.

• [William Cline]

  No mom, no dad, just me,

• [Alpinwolf]

  Watch me do this new trick!

  -or-

  Now I’ll attempt the Triple Lindy…

  -or-

  Phooey, I hate cliff hanger endings

  -or-

  I have you now!… wait, what?

  {My first post! Kthxbai}

• [arkizzle]

  can i haz wun moar go?

• [Rinchen]

  Live in hope. Die in despair.

• [Maxopera]

  I came. I saw. I plagiarized.

• [ash]

  just drinkin, smokin, straight west coastin

  (ok not my words, but appropriate anyway)

• [zeman]

  Really? Is that all there is?

• [AlamoTippery]

  A crooked past straightens my future

• [Jack Caesar]

  Born
  Childhood
  Middle bit
  …
  The Future

  -or-

  Getting somewhere? Revisit square one, again.

• [RuTemple]

  Live and learn; die and forget.

• [Takuan]

  like a band of unwavering light

• [Takuan]

  didn’t file last years tax return

• [sebastia]

  oh that’s what that smell was

• [Anonymous]

  dad died, you held it together.

  —-

  at wedding, should’ve been the bride.

  —-

  refuse to ever live without you.

  —-

  lucky to have you all along.

• [Anonymous]

  long suicidal nights not worth it
  ——
  she stood me up, game over
  ——
  parents don’t agree with my decisions

• [InnerPeacenik]

  Thanks, Prem Rawat, for inner peace.

• [morestuff]

  how much now do I get?

• [Anonymous]

  Disappointment should not be anything new

• [legotech]

  Grow up? What? Why do that?

• [cuteoverlord]

  Abortion at 25, adoption at 40.

• [dculberson]

  That’s all there is. Awesome, huh?

• [Anonymous]

  Raised Pentecostal. Now I’m in Hell.

• [elizavery]

  Got over it. Then fun began.

• [Anonymous]

  I’m loved and hated by everyone.

• [gurpreet singh eng101a]

  Should’ve “went” to school… but didn’t.

• [joiwind]

  Older. No wiser. Still having fun.

• [annsoforth]

  Love and marriage;
  Death and taxes.

  Rising tide
  Didn’t lift
  This ship

• [sswaan]

  Two careers so far, still time.

• [garymoos]

  Never recovered from a happy childhood.

• [eustace]

  Love fast, regret a long time.

• [Tenn]

  Wished upon stars- found them planets.

• [edgeplot]

  Slept by day and read all night.

• [afrostygirl]

  Always figuring it out too late.

• [Anonymous]

  They should have used protection

• [xadrian]

  Art as life, just not mine.

• [Machinehead]

  Had all the sex I wanted

• [Chocolatey Shatner]

  gay vegetarian librarian, wants kids/husband

  hmmm, sounds more like a personals ad…

• [Halloween Jack]

  It’s true: everybody plays the fool.

• [jody]

  Saw the truth, was not impressed.

• [Anonymous]

  living each day, walking with Jesus.

• [Takuan]

  was drunk, was sober, drunk better

• [sum.zero]

  it was death that killed him

  sum.zero

• [nicolebee]

  An open mind, an open heart.

• [Worthydog]

  Struggled with depression, overcame medication stigma.

• [Ape Lad]

  Never could beat Super Mario Brothers.

• [Takuan]

  lived to see a black president

• [Dave Hecht]

  woke up light in life out

• [NarbYehoot]

  Took my damn time with everything.

• [Mark Frauenfelder]

  It went faster than I figured.

• [ROSSINDETROIT]

  Wanted life to always be fair

• [Anonymous]

  Not good at following instructions

• [Ashe]

  Was born, I lived, now dead…

  Now this is jolly good living…

  Forgot to look before I leapt…

  Was an oxygen thief. Finally caught

  That last potion did not work…

  Failed at life, suceeded in death…

• [Ashe]

  She did me in I tell ya!

  My death, a left-wing conspiracy…

• [Registrado]

  Fortunately this is just a dream.

  There’s much good in this thread.
  Personal agreements go to Nonlis, Ryan,
  Jaguarcy, Doctor Device, m3ch4h0m0, and Edgeplot.