Preposterous AIG TV Commercials Found!

Richard Metzger is the current Boing Boing guest blogger

Try this shit on for size: Next, the inevitable remix! Thanks Russ Gooberman!

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  1. i like your brashness (spelling correct?) a nice simple “try this shit on…” it5 flows well with the commercial. the commercial under the current circumstances makes me want to vomit even more than it would have under good circumstances.

    now on to the remixes…

    thx.

  2. I remember this commercial, and at the time thought the line “We’re with AIG honey, so I’m just thinking about butterflies!” was a pretty ridiculous claim for any company to make. “Hey, we’ve got everything covered, it’s best for you to just trust us and not think too hard about things.”

    And I second the enjoyment of the phrase “try this shit on for size”.

  3. The potential for non-sequiturs is virtually endless:

    1) AIG, Our investment strategy only makes sense if you’re seven years old.

    2) AIG, Don’t ask how we do it, just watch the fucking butterflies.

    3) AIG, invest with us or we’ll beam subliminal sales pitches into your kids head just to mindfuck you.

    4) AIG, You ever heard about the butterfly effect? You know, how a butterfly flapping it’s wings in Iowa can theoretically cause a hurricane in Indonesia? Well, that sort of what we did, but with all your money, and on purpose. Go fuck yourself.

  4. Never forget this one (which was on so frequently during the Olympics that I wanted to punch the kid in the neck):

  5. Heh, your use of the shit-bomb is what got me into this story.

    Mr. Metzger, I commend you for excellent use of profanity for increased page views!

  6. #10:
    that’s funny, i was thinking we sell everything EAST of the Mississippi. Better hope you have more lobbying dollars.

  7. Note the mark in the commercial is Latino. The quack mortgage industry was targeting them, including dirty tricks like showing one form in Spanish, then letting them sign a form in English with different terms.

    (Also note that, statistically, they have had better odds of not defaulting…)

  8. A guy called me the other day from AIG, trying to sell me insurance. “Hey, did you get your bonus?” I had to ask. A big corporation like that, so conservative, so adoring of Reaganomics and his ‘trickle down theory’, surely this fella got his share of the pie.
    “No; I didn’t get nuthin’.”
    “How can that be?! Oh wait- maybe it isn’t the money that trickles down. Maybe it’s the shit.”
    “yeah.” he replied.
    I hope I didn’t ruin his day.

  9. Wow I remmeber watching that commercial like almost a year back for some reason. Brushed it off then, ironic now.

  10. I mean, CAR insurance…
    (I’d put a smiley here, beacause it’s a funny mistake, but I don’t feel like smiling.. :-/ )

  11. Fuck the butterflies. Think about your cat. Something could happen to her if she’s not insured…

  12. Phikus: “…Think about your cat. Something could happen to her if she’s not insured…”

    The guy with the hula Vader could run her over. But having cat insurance isn’t gonna prevent the kitty from getting run over. Eewww… that just reminded me of a gross experience. See next post.

  13. Hey that’s D.C Benny in that commercial. He was a comedian a few years ago before he became a shill.

  14. Creepy story here:
    I rode my Honda left out of my driveway, off on an errand. Dead cat in the road. It was nearly dark, so I looped back around to make sure it wasn’t our cat- didn’t want my young son to find it.
    The cat’s head had been run over. Brain matter and one eyeball had gooshed out. The one eye still in the socket was open. It looked up at me.
    I rode off, relieved that it wasn’t my cat, and a little sick to my stomach.
    Hey, I warned you.

  15. that wasn’t car insurance, it was just cat insurance with the “cat” crossed out and “car” written in.

  16. I love the commercial. What could be more true of the corporate view of the American dream. “Buy our product and you can stop thinking.”

    A lot of folks bought that product, I guess.

  17. To bail AIG and the rest of America out, I propose we auction off parts of the US (preferably before everything becomes subprime) that would become zones our creditors could then occupy…Washington DC can be similarly divided according to the properties and states bought to ensure you get adequate representation in the ‘seat of power’…sound like East/West Berlin yet?

  18. @ #23: Good idea. The Chinese would probably be happy with California in exchange for what the US owe them.

    1. The Chinese would probably be happy with California in exchange for what the US owe them.

      California hasn’t been part of the US for quite some time now. And we’re good with that.

  19. The sad(er) part about this is that the parts of AIG they’re talking about were, and are, strong. The bulk of AIG was fine, but that tiny office in London that involved itself in the CDSs pulled down the whole company–as well as the vast bulk of the company was doing, that little office swamped it all.

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