What shall we do with a carpet sample?

Craft reported on ran a contest to see who could come up with the coolest uses for carpet samples, and the winners came up with some jim-dandy ideas. I remember getting books of these as a kid and spending days making stuff out of them.

Carpet Sample Project Contest Winners

• [jere7my]

  In college, we used 32 of them to create a live chess board on the campus lawn.

• [Jamie Sue]

  Clever and cute. :) I like it.

• [Daemon]

  I believe the hammock wins.

• [weatherman]

  I use the carpet samples from Flor as drink coasters.

• [TroofSeeker]

  If you do any off-roading, with the chance of sinking in either mud or sand, stow a strip of carpeting, maybe 6 or 8 inches wide and 8 or 10 feet long. It’s light, and it rolls up and fits into a small space.
  When stuck, dig out a track for the most stuck tire, and lay the carpet upside down in the track. Drive out.
  Saved me a time or two.

• [Talia]

  What shall we do with a carpet sample, early in the morning?

• [Takuan]

  I had no idea

  Intro
  What shall we do with a drunken sailor, (3×)
  Early in the morning?
  Chorus
  Hoo–ray/Wey–hey/Heave-ho and up she rises, (3×)
  Early in the morning!
  Verses
  Put him in bed/the brig/the hold with the captain’s daughter, (3×) [1]
  Early in the morning!

  Tickle down below with a feather duster, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Hoover round the room in your girlfriends undies, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Tie him to a sheep and call him Taffy, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Beat him round the head with an oily kipper, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Stick him in drag and make him Tina, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Make him trim the jib sheet, watch him throw up, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Take him and shake him and try and wake him, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Shave his bollocks with a rusty razor, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Make him walk the plank and swim at sea, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Make him kiss the gardeners daughter, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the scupper with a hosepipe on him, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the longboat til he’s sober, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Keep him there and make him bale ‘er, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Shave his belly with a rusty razor, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the pickle barrel til he’s sober, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the grog barrel til he’s pickled, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Throw him in the bilge and make him drink it, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Hang him from the mast like a jolly roger, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Pull out the plug and wet him all over, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Shave his balls and call him Tony, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Soak him in oil til he’s grown flippers, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Keelhaul him til he’s sober, (3×)
  Early in the morning!
  Var.
  Keelhaul him and pass the bottle, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Stick him in a bag and beat him senseless, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the brig until he’s sober, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Slap him around and call him Suzie, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  You haven’t seen the captain’s daughter, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put ‘im in the crow’s nest and watch him fall down, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put ‘im in a leaky boat an’ make ‘im bail ‘er, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put ‘im in the back of the paddywagon, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Give ‘im a dose of salt and water, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Give ‘im a taste of the bosun’s rope-end, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Stick on ‘is back a mustard plaster, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Heave him by the leg in a running bowline, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Tie him to the taffrail when she’s yardarm under, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Set him polishing up the brasswork, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  ‘Round with the rum and scotch and whiskey, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  God Speed, The whales are comin’, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Go to the market and buy some apples, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Hang him from the yardarm til he dangles, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Scratch his back with a Cat o’ Nine Tails, (3×)
  Early in the morning

  Have seen the captain’s daughter? (2×)
  Early in the morning!
  Followed by:
  Have you smelled the captain’s daughter? (1×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the Head with his skivvies on backwards, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Put him in the hull with an angry weasel, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Hoist him aboard with a running bowline, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

  Clog his chutes with a hundred marbles, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Stick him in the belly and watch him die, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Pull down his pants and slice his wanker, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Slit his throat with a rusty saber, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Hang him from the mast with his own intestines, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Cut his japs eye with a rusty scalpal, (3x)
  Early in the morning!

  Ending
  That’s what we’ll do with a drunken sailor, (3×)
  Early in the morning!

• [TroofSeeker]

  Drunken sailors beware!!
  I use them as door mats in front of the tent.
  Uh- carpet samples, I mean.