Jolielips, the lip-plumping vacuum system

"Something about an oversized, oddly-shaped pump arriving in an unmarked box made the whole thing seem vaguely dirty." [MSNBC]

• [apoxia]

  So is this product officially recommended by Angelina Jolie? If not, I wonder if she minds this product bearing her name.

• [Deidzoeb]

  The ribs on the vacuum look like little fingers cupping it. Not quite goatse.cxy but definitely goatse.nsual.

  Hey, I remember survival kit paraphernalia from the 80s that included little rubbery suction devices intended to suck out venom without a person acting as sucker and accidentally ingesting the venom when it comes out. If this product doesn’t work as advertised, they could be marketed as Angelie Jolie branded venom suction devices.

  Anyway, if that actually worked, couldn’t you just draw your own lip into your mouth for a few hours until it was as large as you wanted? I assume that people would have worked this out for themselves decades or centuries ago if the desired result was worth more than the side effects.

• [WeightedCompanionCube]

  I swear, that kind of thing’s not my bag, baby!

  • [gunnar11]

    Well done! I am still disturbed, though.

• [technogeek]

  I do find myself wondering — if you’ll excuse the question — what the effect would be of applying this to a different set of lips.

  • [scifijazznik]

    More work than doing it with your own lips would be my guess.

• [Anonymous]

  Will this make DSL faster?

• [t3knomanser]

  Guidettes rejoice, no longer will you have to kiss the curling iron to get the puffy lips you find desirable.

• [jáquer]

  Check out the PhotoShop disaster: http://www.skymall.com/images/products/7e/22/06/102924007x.jpg

  • [scifijazznik]

    Oh, that’s excellent. Nice find.

• [Jackasimov]

  I’ll be waiting for the Jackmanballs personally.

• [scifijazznik]

  I’m thinking either the leeches or the lamprey from earlier threads might work better.

• [Anonymous]

  Are there other adapters available?

• [Anonymous]

  Am I the only one who can’t wait to see someone walking around with a hickey around her lips from that pump?

  I shall point and laugh until I can’t breathe.

• [Sea Daddy]

  Oh, the possibilities…..!

• [simonbarsinister]

  There is something vaguely goatse about this thing. Disturbing.

• [Halloween Jack]

  The best part has to be the little caduceus symbol on the bottle, as if that makes it some sort of legitimate medical treatment. I await the first case report of someone going to the ER with their tongue stuck in the suction ball.