Rob Beschizza at 3:30 pm Tue, Jan 5, 2010
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Eurovision 2013: An American in London
The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek
Seriously– they need to re-make Xanadu, if only because it is more of a priority than Spielberg re-doing Oldboy.
snort cough..it’ll be on failblog by sundown..cough…
oh, very lordly liam.. a leap from darkman…
Unfortunately, it looks like crappy direction. Too bad – I love the idea of a remake.
They should get Doug Liman to do The Odyssey.
DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?
>> After Liam ruined Star Wars I can’t watch him in another effects movie.
Yeah…uh, huh. That’s what ruined it.
SEND IN THE CRACKERS!
Now SEND IN THE CHEESE!
I’m afraid we’re going to be seeing more and more remakes of bad genre movies in the quixotic quest for the next Battlestar.
I can see a trailer forming in my mind now… for the 2013 remake of Starcrash…
Viggo Mortensen in the Chris Plummer role of Emperor of the Galaxy, surrounded by a smoky techno-throne room and grim-faced advisors as he whispers into the echoing darkness, “Imperial battleship–
“–halt the flow of time.”
Cue Tuvan throat-singing soundtrack as we watch a sombre grey-clad Stella Star (plaed by Lady Gaga) smash into the room from one of the space viewports. In slow motion 3-D.
won’t be hard to be better than the original. It’s one of the very few movies I’ve ever walked out on. Oh, and Zeus doesn’t need owls – they belong with Athena, not Zeus.
Kneel before Zod!
MellowKnees-OMG that was funny….we’re old.
Cool! Sadly, I can still see Liam…
much better, that original one just looks terrible in comparison
I loved the original Clash of the Titans as a kid and wrote a surf instrumental entitled “The Kraken” as an “adult.” Although I am sad Ray Harryhausen isn’t involved, I am excited Liam is playing Zeus. Maybe they could get Terrence Stamp to play Burgess Merideth’s part…
Liam looks terrible with that beard. Couldn’t they have hired Brian Blessed!
I want to hire Brian Blessed to play B.A. Baracus, cuz he -so- looks like Mr T in that photo.
Nothing says Olympian god like lasers! Pew pew pew!
But something’s… missing…
That would be the ineffable essence of Harryhausen.
the original had more of an impact than this one I bet.
I was 10 when the original came out. Let’s just say that a naked Urula Andress had a profound effect on the way I view cinema.
Why a remake? The first one is flawless.
“Why a remake? The first one is flawless.”
First law of filmmaking: if you don’t have an idea for an original picture, just remake an old one
First law of filmmaking: if you can afford the rights, just remake an old one. If you can’t, you’ll have to pick one of the thousands of ideas for original pictures out of the closet every producer has in the back of their office and hope for the best.
The original ideas, though, don’t come with an obvious yardstick to measure against. Some old ones set the bar pretty high.
As a child, I way preferred Jason and the Argonoauts.
I’m not buying Liam – he doesn’t even sound Greek. What’s missing is some Greek talk, like, ” soo, you like-a the juice, heh? the juice is gooood!”
I think you mean Italians.
After Liam ruined Star Wars I can’t watch him in another effects movie.
And if the cracken doesn’t look like a certain pet of Jabba the Hutt…
Ah, Harryhausen. You know that you’re a kick-ass special effects artist when everyone can name the movies you worked on but can’t remember who directed them.
Zeus went to grade school in the 1980s, too? Who knew!
I’m already quoting one most wonderfully ridiculous lines from a trailer in recent memory (delivered in Liam’s finest scene-chewing voice):
“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”
That line was also in the original Clash of the Titans. For those of us who actually know the sources, it’s a hoot (the Kraken is from Scandinavian mythology via Tennyson, no the Greeks:
Below the thunders of the upper deep;
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: [snip ll.]
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
My guess is that Cthulhu is based upon this poem.
Bizarre; my middle name is the captcha – and it’s a very, very rare middle name.
Quality of this remake vs. the original aside… anyone else bothered that they had to spoil the Kraken in the trailer?
There was a reason we only saw little bits of it throughout the original film. It’s appearance at the end is supposed to be huge. Knowing from the trailer what it looks like takes away all the suspense.
Lesson learned: There’s no way in hell you can expect to face the Gods without a wicked -fresh heavy metal soundtrack.
Why is it that whenever I see the text “Jason and the Argonauts,” I hear it to the tune of the Josie and the Pussycats theme?
As a kid, I was kind of disappointed by the original. I thought the riddle about the ring of Kallibos was weak. It wasn’t a common knowledge kind of riddle like the one the Sphynx asked Oedipus. It was too much like Bilbo’s “what have I got in my pocket?”
Liam almost looks like Ingres’ version of Jupiter. He just needs the buff pecs and a couple of eagles.
The original was Ray Harryhausen’s last film, if I remember correctly, and frankly wasn’t up to his own standards. I’m not sure whether he got too ambitious, or if the others involved in the production botched it, but it really didn’t work very well — at least not on the large screen.
So, unlike most such cases, I’m not automatically dismissing the idea of a remake. There may indeed be a story worth rescuing here.
On the other hand, I’m not sure better effects will be enough to save Trash of the Clitans.
gin, olivier, then lasers
In the “fixed” Zeus, I kind of expect him to be wearing roller skates.
Wow, seeing this makes me want a remake of Excalibur.
Hmmmm…first one was flawless? Seen the original lately? TERRIBLE. Really, always was. I remember thinking it was corny as a kid – compared to Blade Runner, The Road Warrior and The Thing! I’m generally against remakes but some are an improvement. The Maltese Falcon with Bogie, for example, was a remake.
You rule, Rob! Greek mythology always screamed disco laser backlighting!
Needs more owls.
Its’ not like the original Clash was based on anything, just a script writers wet dream about greek mythology.
Gods treating humans like shit? Check.
Popular Actors? Check.
Lovable sidekick? Check.
The only reason IMO to enjoy the original is Harryhausen’s beautiful stop-motion animation. The trailers of the remake look good, and its not like they can make the story any worse (and yes sam worthington is a much better choice than harry hamlin).
that trailer seems a little light on clockwork owls too.
Sure I’ll go see that, and I liked Avatar well enough. But could someone please explain why people keep casting Sam Worthington in movies? I mean Liam looks ridiculous but at least he has some charisma.
But could someone please explain why people keep casting Sam Worthington in movies?
For the same reason Harry Hamlin was cast in the original Clash of the Titans: He’s a better actor when he’s naked.
Xaaaanadu, now we are here
I think that they goofed and got Burger King instead of Zeus. It’s a common mistake.
Where’s his uke?
I’m glad Zeus has been “fixed”, because he was just running around procreating with every pretty maiden he could find. As a bull? A shower of gold? C’mon Zeus.
That’s only when he wasn’t busy with Ganymede.
Shower of Gold? God Fetish! I guess it’s pretty convenient from up in the clouds on the Mount…