Fixed Zeus for you

Just caught the trailer for the remake of Clash of the Titans. But something's... missing...

Fixed.

⟿ Follow Rob Beschizza on Twitter.

MORE: Entertainment

More at Boing Boing

Eurovision 2013: An American in London

The technology that links taxonomy and Star Trek

Day Vexx

Seriously– they need to re-make Xanadu, if only because it is more of a priority than Spielberg re-doing Oldboy.
JoshP

snort cough..it’ll be on failblog by sundown..cough…
oh, very lordly liam.. a leap from darkman…
imag

Unfortunately, it looks like crappy direction. Too bad – I love the idea of a remake.

They should get Doug Liman to do The Odyssey.
Halloween Jack

DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?
daneyul

>> After Liam ruined Star Wars I can’t watch him in another effects movie.

Yeah…uh, huh. That’s what ruined it.
narrowstreetsLA

SEND IN THE CRACKERS!

(pause)

Now SEND IN THE CHEESE!
Yamara

I’m afraid we’re going to be seeing more and more remakes of bad genre movies in the quixotic quest for the next Battlestar.

I can see a trailer forming in my mind now… for the 2013 remake of Starcrash…

Viggo Mortensen in the Chris Plummer role of Emperor of the Galaxy, surrounded by a smoky techno-throne room and grim-faced advisors as he whispers into the echoing darkness, “Imperial battleship–

“–halt the flow of time.”

Cue Tuvan throat-singing soundtrack as we watch a sombre grey-clad Stella Star (plaed by Lady Gaga) smash into the room from one of the space viewports. In slow motion 3-D.
lakelady

won’t be hard to be better than the original. It’s one of the very few movies I’ve ever walked out on. Oh, and Zeus doesn’t need owls – they belong with Athena, not Zeus.
Anonymous

Kneel before Zod!
bklynchris

MellowKnees-OMG that was funny….we’re old.
Anonymous

Cool! Sadly, I can still see Liam…
Anonymous

much better, that original one just looks terrible in comparison
Snakefarmer

I loved the original Clash of the Titans as a kid and wrote a surf instrumental entitled “The Kraken” as an “adult.” Although I am sad Ray Harryhausen isn’t involved, I am excited Liam is playing Zeus. Maybe they could get Terrence Stamp to play Burgess Merideth’s part…
Anonymous

http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/8527/zeus3.gif
HyMinded

Liam looks terrible with that beard. Couldn’t they have hired Brian Blessed!

http://blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/thegeekfiles/Prince-Vultan.jpg
- Ian70
  
  I want to hire Brian Blessed to play B.A. Baracus, cuz he -so- looks like Mr T in that photo.
Keith

Nothing says Olympian god like lasers! Pew pew pew!
Tdawwg

But something’s… missing…

That would be the ineffable essence of Harryhausen.
gstott

the original had more of an impact than this one I bet.
scifijazznik

I was 10 when the original came out. Let’s just say that a naked Urula Andress had a profound effect on the way I view cinema.

Why a remake? The first one is flawless.
nanuq

“Why a remake? The first one is flawless.”

First law of filmmaking: if you don’t have an idea for an original picture, just remake an old one
- Nores
  
  First law of filmmaking: if you can afford the rights, just remake an old one. If you can’t, you’ll have to pick one of the thousands of ideas for original pictures out of the closet every producer has in the back of their office and hope for the best.
  
  FTFY
  - Anonymous
    
    The original ideas, though, don’t come with an obvious yardstick to measure against. Some old ones set the bar pretty high.
Nylund

As a child, I way preferred Jason and the Argonoauts.
lava

I’m not buying Liam – he doesn’t even sound Greek. What’s missing is some Greek talk, like, ” soo, you like-a the juice, heh? the juice is gooood!”
- Anonymous
  
  I think you mean Italians.
RedShirt77

After Liam ruined Star Wars I can’t watch him in another effects movie.

And if the cracken doesn’t look like a certain pet of Jabba the Hutt…

I sense
Brainspore

Ah, Harryhausen. You know that you’re a kick-ass special effects artist when everyone can name the movies you worked on but can’t remember who directed them.
Maggie Koerth-Baker

Zeus went to grade school in the 1980s, too? Who knew!
americanwhale

I’m already quoting one most wonderfully ridiculous lines from a trailer in recent memory (delivered in Liam’s finest scene-chewing voice):

“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”
- Anonymous
  
  That line was also in the original Clash of the Titans. For those of us who actually know the sources, it’s a hoot (the Kraken is from Scandinavian mythology via Tennyson, no the Greeks:
  
  Below the thunders of the upper deep;
  Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
  His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
  The Kraken sleepeth: [snip ll.]
  
  There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
  Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
  Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
  Then once by man and angels to be seen,
  In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
  
  My guess is that Cthulhu is based upon this poem.
  
  Bizarre; my middle name is the captcha – and it’s a very, very rare middle name.
akbar56

Quality of this remake vs. the original aside… anyone else bothered that they had to spoil the Kraken in the trailer?

There was a reason we only saw little bits of it throughout the original film. It’s appearance at the end is supposed to be huge. Knowing from the trailer what it looks like takes away all the suspense.
alowishus

Lesson learned: There’s no way in hell you can expect to face the Gods without a wicked -fresh heavy metal soundtrack.
Rich Keller

Why is it that whenever I see the text “Jason and the Argonauts,” I hear it to the tune of the Josie and the Pussycats theme?

As a kid, I was kind of disappointed by the original. I thought the riddle about the ring of Kallibos was weak. It wasn’t a common knowledge kind of riddle like the one the Sphynx asked Oedipus. It was too much like Bilbo’s “what have I got in my pocket?”

Liam almost looks like Ingres’ version of Jupiter. He just needs the buff pecs and a couple of eagles.
Anonymous

The original was Ray Harryhausen’s last film, if I remember correctly, and frankly wasn’t up to his own standards. I’m not sure whether he got too ambitious, or if the others involved in the production botched it, but it really didn’t work very well — at least not on the large screen.

So, unlike most such cases, I’m not automatically dismissing the idea of a remake. There may indeed be a story worth rescuing here.

On the other hand, I’m not sure better effects will be enough to save Trash of the Clitans.
dross1260

gin, olivier, then lasers
Snig

In the “fixed” Zeus, I kind of expect him to be wearing roller skates.
ValuedRug

Wow, seeing this makes me want a remake of Excalibur.
tbonelee68

Hmmmm…first one was flawless? Seen the original lately? TERRIBLE. Really, always was. I remember thinking it was corny as a kid – compared to Blade Runner, The Road Warrior and The Thing! I’m generally against remakes but some are an improvement. The Maltese Falcon with Bogie, for example, was a remake.
jeligula

You rule, Rob! Greek mythology always screamed disco laser backlighting!
mellowknees

Needs more owls.
cymk

Its’ not like the original Clash was based on anything, just a script writers wet dream about greek mythology.

Gods? Check.
Humans? Check.
Gods treating humans like shit? Check.
Hero? Check.
Action? Check.
Popular Actors? Check.
Lovable sidekick? Check.

The only reason IMO to enjoy the original is Harryhausen’s beautiful stop-motion animation. The trailers of the remake look good, and its not like they can make the story any worse (and yes sam worthington is a much better choice than harry hamlin).
GaryG

that trailer seems a little light on clockwork owls too.
Anonymous

Sure I’ll go see that, and I liked Avatar well enough. But could someone please explain why people keep casting Sam Worthington in movies? I mean Liam looks ridiculous but at least he has some charisma.
- seanpatgallagher
  
  But could someone please explain why people keep casting Sam Worthington in movies?
  
  For the same reason Harry Hamlin was cast in the original Clash of the Titans: He’s a better actor when he’s naked.
  
  -S
narrowstreetsLA

Xaaaanadu, now we are here
http://www.babygorilla.com Chuck Jones

I think that they goofed and got Burger King instead of Zeus. It’s a common mistake.
Anonymous

Where’s his uke?
Darwindr

I’m glad Zeus has been “fixed”, because he was just running around procreating with every pretty maiden he could find. As a bull? A shower of gold? C’mon Zeus.
- Anonymous
  
  That’s only when he wasn’t busy with Ganymede.
- tbonelee68
  
  Shower of Gold? God Fetish! I guess it’s pretty convenient from up in the clouds on the Mount…