Q: Need any weed? Grass? Kind bud? Shrooms?
A: No thanks hippie, I'd just like to do some banking.
Q: What the hell is your fucking problem, sir?
A: This is completely inappropriate and I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Q: Are you really who you say you are?
A: No, I am a Russian identity thief.
Q: Your voice is really turning me on.
A: I like where this is going. Tell me more.
Q: Do you know the answer to your secret question?
A: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you. Can you repeat that?
Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.