Iran: "President unveils second Iranian robot man"

Iran's Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA) is a fountain of state-issued LOLS this week. Yesterday, I blogged news of forbidden and approved hairstyles for Islamic gentlemen, as decreed by government officials in charge of monitoring guys' hair.

Today, let us appreciate the beauty of this unadulterated IRNA headline:

President unveils 2nd Iranian robot man
Wait—"2nd Iranian Robot Man," meaning, what, Ahmedinejad was the first? Let's read on:

The robot man dubbed as Sorina 2 was designed and manufactured by some 20 Iranian experts from Tehran University. The robot man can replace human being in carrying out sensitive tasks in different situations. Simultaneous with the "Day of Industry and Mine" honored in presence of President Ahmadinejad, the robot was unveiled in the hall of Summit conference.

The robot man is modelled upon human being and can walk on. Sorina 2 with 12 degree of movement in feet, 8 degree of movement in hands and two degree of movement in head could carry out instructed programs. Walking like human beings, synchronize movements of feet and hands are among the characteristics of Sorina 2.

IRNA says the announcement proves "Iranian scientists are on the right track of scientific development and success." The West is awfully worried about Iran getting the bomb, but I fear we have not worried enough about Iran getting the 'bot.

* A prize for your funniest caption on the photo above, via the Iranian news agency.


    1. I was going to say, isn’t Sorina a female name? I knew a woman named Sorina once.

      Shouldn’t that robot be wearing a veil, or are Iranian Robot women exempt?

      I can’t think of the headline, but I can’t help but think how much it looks like some of the images of Queen Elizabeth getting a Blackberry at the RIM headquarters yesterday (or watching the 3D movie later that day). You could start a whole meme about unelected world leaders being shown technology they don’t understand.

  1. I’m assuming Sorina is an anagram for Asimo that was somehow botched in translation . . .

    1. Good efforts by the Iranians, but in a fight I would still have to put my money on Asimo.

  2. wait, what is funny here? the strange english of the press release? or the fact ahmadinedjad looks like a kid next to his bodyguard? i dont get it

  3. So wait, making a simulacra of a human that can walk around and “replace human being in carrying out sensitive tasks in different situations” is totally allowed by Islam, but making pictures (simulacra) of Muhammed or even of everyday human beings is forbidden?

    Can’t wait till their clerics declare robots evil and arrest the makers for playing god.

  4. In Iran, like many other countries, a significant portion of the population is unemployed. What do we need robots to do that humans can’t do? We’ll spend billions developing robots but you can’t find a job unless you have the EXACT skill set they are looking for? We’ll spend billions developing robots but safety on the job site is too expensive? Something is wrong here!

    1. “Billions developing robots” uh, might be a little bit of an overstatement on this one.

  5. “Wait–this one is female! Someone get a burka!”

    Alternate caption: “Would you care for some tea?”

  6. “Mr. President, if we cooperated with the West instead of threaten them, we could have a REAL robot that looks like this. And it’ll be fully featured for all of your personal needs [wink, wink].”

    What, no video? Prety much every other robotics announcement comes with an accompanying video to show how cool it is.

    For all we know, this is a statue.

  7. “If you like our ‘Azino’ robot, perhaps I can interest you in one of our fine ‘Romex’ watches.”

  8. “And one other touch you’ll love, Mr President: he’s Jewish! That’s what you wanted, right?”

  9. “The on button is right here by the bicep” “Activate the Presidential Golem Guards!”

  10. “Now that this one robot is made, we can easily photoshop hundreds, maybe even thousands more, just like we did with our missile program!”

  11. “The robot man can replace human being in carrying out sensitive tasks in different situations.”

    With “12 degrees of movement in feet, 8 degree of movement in hands and two degree of movement in head” I can’t wait to see what sensitive tasks it can carry out :)

  12. “The robot man is modelled upon human being and can walk on.”

    Walk on, robot man. Walk on.

  13. Can someone please explain to me why President Ahmadinejad always looks like he belongs in a depression-era photo, standing in line for a handout?
    You would think a PRESIDENT would have more respect for his own country… oh wait, this is the same President that thinks forbidden hairstyles are a menace.
    Never mind.

    1. Iran clearly *is* ahead of us in the getting-rid-of-the-tie race. Why can’t we have progress like that?

  14. “We made it with bent knees to make you look taller…”

    “If we start now, we can get you 2 million in time for the next ‘election'”

  15. “Iran, Iron Man, Ahmedinejad has a clever plan..
    Nobody likes him, nobody he trusts,
    he just sits there and rusts..”
    (guitar solo)

  16. I thought, according to the previous boing boing article, facial hair was frowned upon. Has this robot been sent to deal with this group of unshaven misfits?

  17. maybe this is Ahmedinejad’s personal shopper. So he can find a suit that fits right.

  18. “And this, Mr President, will solve all our necktie shortage problems once and for all”

  19. “Also, Mr. President, we are pleased to note that an air-tight wax seal around his faceplate makes him impervious to water-boarding. Sadly, however, he does seem to be afraid of dogs and women’s panties.”

  20. “In ten years, instead of blank face he will have glorious black and white television attached to high tech VCR in chest.”

  21. “The ladies were JUST ABOUT to consent to a chaperoned walk, but *this motherfucker* can’t stop doing the robot for even ONE minute…”

  22. “Soon everyone will be awed by our progress and modernity. Can you build a dozen of them in time for the stoning on Wednesday?”

  23. Are they really trying to perpetuate the myth that this was designed and built in Iran? If so, what happens when the truth inevitably gets out?

  24. So I’m convinced now that they have a Payless Shoe Source in Tehran.

    It’s probably right next to the Windbreaker Emporium and the Open Collared Shirt Dealership. Look at Mahmoud’s jacket cuffs. The man is wearing off-the-rack department store threads.

    I know it’s a different culture and I’m not fully versed in Persian fashion sense, but wow. I’m not feeling the international respect for these guys that I should be with their fancy robot and all.

  25. “Friend of the Ayatollah’s? Special price for you my friend! Only today!”

  26. I’ll be much more impressed with humanoid robot technology when someone builds one that doesn’t look like it really needs to use the can.

  27. “If you can just call Apple and get them to drop the lawsuit, we’ll be able to revert to using the name iRan”

  28. Mr. Bin Laden, you’re looking spiffy in your new disguise.

    You’re telling me it’s more likely that Iran was able to build a robot?

  29. “When you die, we will place your brain in him, and you’ll be able to wear your same clothes.”

  30. “Let me make something clear to you. He doesn’t have a name. He has a program. He’s product.”

  31. “He can WALK!”
    “Can he do anything else?”
    “What the funk do you want from us?!? This is Iran!”

  32. Bin Laden has nothing to do with Iran. Remember that in the arab world the Al Quida and its sub groups are a bit like Westboro Baptists – according to them everyone is going to hell.

    As for quotes:
    “Hey he just said ‘remember Aria Shahr’!”

  33. “No, no, no, I’m the Iranian Dennis Farina clone, this guy is the Iranian Asimo clone.”

  34. “Yes Mr. President, This one makes the “Choo chew choow” sounds from the transformers cartoon as you requested.”

  35. “…No? Well, our Segway model is slated for next quarter. Early trials indicate that it can roll on.”

  36. “Mr. President, this robot does everything that you do, only better. We intend to replace you with it.”

  37. While those still living back in the atomic age worry about at0mic b0mbs, around the world multi-Billion dollar robot armies are being built by many countries as of the early 21st Century.

    In modern times, robotics represent a greater military threat than at0mics. They can move faster than the human eye can see, they can fly, and swarm their targets, and be any size, from microscopic to the size of buildings. Anyone can build them, and can build lot’s of them, cheaply and easily, and they do not require banned elements to assemble.

    We genetic humans are all in very, very big trouble on this planet.

    I am serious.

  38. One: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm, unless that human being is a citizen of The Great Satan…

  39. … up to 20 Members Only jackets an hour, SINGLEHANDEDLY.

    The international press used to refer to it as the Ahmedinejacket.

  40. “No no no, Mr President ‘R-o-b-o-t’. That is diffent to ‘R-a-b-b-i’. And I don’t think either of those things ‘love to eat carrots with their twitchy little noses'”

  41. “Soon, we give it vagina. Then finally we can lock all womens in jail bunker and throw away key!”

  42. Caption:

    “Mr. President, I’m proud to announce we’ve finally managed to duplicate Japan’s advanced robotics technology and– Excuse me, sir? No, we still haven’t figured out how they fasten those things around their necks.”

  43. Surena 3 is 10 times bigger, can stomp on tanks, and bring down planes by throwing cars at them.

  44. “No Muhammed is not inside there, Sir.”


    “He has been specifically designed, not to Dance.”


    “With this new technology, you can hate gay people remotely!”

  45. or

    “We have studied american films and this is what they most fear. They also fear Aliens, Zombies and are somewhat horney for vampires, but all attempts to build those have failed.”

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