Big Border Bologna Bust: U.S. seizes nearly 400 pounds of illegal Mexican meat


U.S. Customs and Border Patrol officers intercepted 385 pounds of Mexican bologna after finding the contraband luncheon meat behind the seat of a pickup truck stopped at the port of Santa Teresa, New Mexico, last Friday. I wonder how they sniffed that one out. Guess the smuggler didn't do a very good job of hiding the salami, so to speak.

"Usually officers see one or two rolls of bologna, not 35 as in this case," quoth the AP. "Officials say this marked the largest bologna bust ever recorded at the Santa Teresa crossing."

(via Submitterator thanks, Acudiva)


  1. Would someone care to give the backstory for this non-US person? Why is pressed meat a contraband item for the Mexican border?

    1. From the article: “It’s illegal to bring the bologna across the border because it’s made of pork and has the potential for introducing foreign animal diseases to the U.S. pork industry.”

      1. If the U.S. spent half the energy it spends on blocking “foreign” foods instead on policing dirty plants in the U.S. then you’d have a point.

        As it stands, the U.S. does more to regulate import/export of goods to control market value than it does to actual protect the domestic food chain.

        Food is seen as a commodity and not a health concern. That is the real issue underlying the ridiculousness of this bologna incident.

    2. Many countries restrict import of food on quality control grounds. IE it has to be inspected before you can import it. Smuggled food could be smuggled in because it’s known to be unlikely to pass inspection (or has already failed).

      Many countries put terrifs on import of food to encourage local suppliers, thereby making sure the nation is at least somewhat in control of its own food production. Smuggled food could be smuggled in to avoid taxes.

      Some countries restrict import of any agricultural product for fear of ecological contamination (Australia being a shining example) and contamination of livestock (Foot and Mouth disease and Mad Cow both can severely damage domestic production for years.) I suspect food smuggled in to circumvent this is smuggled in by idiots.

      I’m not sure which category America is in, but with the bulk importation I suspect this particular case may have been a little of #1 and a little of #2.

  2. In this country, you gotta make the salad first. Then when you get the salad, you get the cold-cuts. Then when you get the cold-cuts, then you get the women.

  3. Coming up next: U.S. Supreme Court rules warrantless search is okay when cops smell bologna.

  4. I understand not wanting to let people bring this kind of stuff in, especially for safety concerns. My question is, why would someone want to smuggle balogna in the first place? Is a $3 package of lunchmeat so overpriced that people are resorting to black market meats?

  5. Bologna crimes are the wurst! I never sausage a thing! Guess those guys ain’t kosher, as they broke the law trying to make ends meat!

    Please stop me before I pun again.

  6. “It’s illegal to bring the bologna across the border because it’s made of pork and has the potential for introducing foreign animal diseases *to the U.S. pork industry*.”

    So is it common in the US to show meat products to the animal that produced them? “See, little pig, this is what you’re going to become!”

    If the article had said “introducing foreign animal diseases to the US food chain”, that might have made some sort of sense.

    I suppose I must admit that the arrest makes sense. It only *sounds* funny. Plus, Bologna is inherently funny.

    1. So is it common in the US to show meat products to the animal that produced them? “See, little pig, this is what you’re going to become!”

      Joe, the pig farm worker, brings a bologna sandwich or two to work. Joe eats the sandwich(es) and then goes out into the barn. Joe brings the contamination with him.

      Heck, Joe feeds a pig the crusts off his sandwich because he hates them and his wife never cuts them off.

  7. Don’t you know that kids are getting high off of cold cuts? It’s the newest youth drug crazy, and bologna is by far the cold cut of choice.

    Kids call it “Getting sliced,” “Hittin the deli,” “Lunching in the sky with diamonds.”

    I suspect that this is the work of the dangerous Bologna Cartel trying to find new ways to smuggle their drugs after the start of the Cold Cut War.

    Won’t somebody please think of the children!

  8. i just came back from italy a couple days ago. going through us immigration and customs is like landing on the death star — i guess that’s how you know when your empire has turned evil. but i digress. customs has apparently been told to crack down on food smuggling. i had a few bags of dry tuscan pasta in my backpack, and that was okay, it turned out, but then they xrayed my bag just because of that confession. i suspect now that they were looking for meat (and i’m vegan). i wonder what the big deal is.

  9. 400lbs is about one pig’s worth? I would guess more than that wanders across the border after escaping it’s pen every year.

  10. Err…no one calls it bah-lone-ya, so why spell it bologna?

    Ba-Ba BAH-LONE-eeeeee

    It’s a listeria monocytogenes ferry to freedom in the US.

    In the US the main component of baloney is mechanically separated clucken.

  11. Big Border Bologna Bust: U.S. seizes nearly 400 pounds of illegal Mexican meat

    His name is Pablo, and he’s a human being with feelings, you monsters.

  12. Maybe it was all for personal consumption. And, in preparation for the 5/21 End of Times: Mexican bologna is the new SPAM.

  13. Sounds like these little piggies *sunglasses* never went to market. YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH

  14. I like the explanation in the comments on the actual article page. The Bologna was only a decoy to distract the drug sniffing dogs from the real load of contraband further back in line.

  15. Is Mexican Bologna being smuggled in because it tastes much better, like Mexican Coca-Cola? Maybe they should be making Mexican recipe Bologna under license in the U.S.

  16. “400 pounds of illegal Mexican meat” sound like some *very* specialised porn…

  17. I once had luncheon meat confiscated. It was an unopened package that I bought IN THE USA, and just didn’t eat while I was there. Didn’t seem to matter to the Customs people.

  18. What foreign animal diseases can be transmitted through cooked pork meat? As far as I know, pigs don’t suffer from any prion diseases.

    Ironically, in EU (and most European countries outside EU, including the large import market in Russia), meat and most other foodstuff from USA have to jump through hoops to be allowed to be imported, that foodstuff imported from other countries don’t have to, because the US farming and food industry have extremely poor standards. The US government allow higher levels of hormones, antibiotics and other “medications”, then is allowed in any other country in the world. There is also lots of unhealthy stuff added to US food that isn’t allowed to be used in most other countries around the world. Then there is the matter of really bad hygiene, even if it usually is safe for human consumption, who wants chicken products that contain more fæces then meat, or pork and dried fruit that contain 5% fly eggs? I always hope, for the sake of the US people, that the food you eat inside USA isn’t as bad as the one you try to sell to other countries.

  19. Vicious Mexican gangs killing thousands, tons of drugs smuggled into America destroying our society- and now THIS. When will it end?

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