Head of the St STD to be auctioned off

This Sunday, an auction house in Ireland will sell off what is said to be the head of St Vitalis, patron saint of genital diseases. St Vitalis was canonized for "numerous miracles performed on those with bladder and genital disorders."
The head sat for many years in the family hall in County Louth, but was recently uncovered in an outhouse.

Mr Matthews said that although he couldn't be certain it was the head of a saint: "It's certainly ancient, and it's certainly the head of somebody."

The Holy Cross Monastery, a Benedictine order in Rostrevor, County Down, did not even know who St Vitalis was, and after an internet search, declined to comment further on the matter of his or anyone else's severed head.

Severed head of patron saint of genital disease on sale (via Geekologie)


  1. Do all English people keep heads in their attics, or is the practice restricted to the upper classes?

  2. I’m sure he “performed” “miracles” on many genitals. I mean, we all have that phase of life right?

    1. According to the Catholic Church’s Code of Canon Law, “It is absolutely forbidden to sell sacred relics.” (Can. 1190 §1).

  3. There’s a pub in Co. Louth that has “leprechaun bones” on display. I wonder if the leprechaun and St. Vitalis knew each other…

    If he’s also from Assisi, that’s three saints from the same place.

    1. I was wondering if I could collect all three heads of Saint Vitalis, Saint Brylcreem and Saint Alberto VO5.

      1. that’s funny, but you might be showing your age! Saints Canoe, Hai Karate and Drakar Noir could fill out the team.

  4. I don’t know, getting strange head seems like it would CAUSE more STDs than it cures.

  5. “It’s certainly ancient, and it’s certainly the head of somebody.”

    I would like more opportunities to say that exact phrase in the execution of my duties.

  6. …”although he couldn’t be certain it was the head of a saint: “It’s certainly ancient, and it’s certainly the head of somebody.”

    Monty Pythonesque voice… “Waaaaalllll, it’s certainly an ‘ed, innit? could be a saint really, can’t prove it’s not, can ‘ya? Tell you what, give me 10 quid and I’ll throw in the toe nails”

  7. It’s like rule 34 of the middle ages, “If it exists, there’s a patron saint for it”

  8. There was a great deal of head worship, keeping the heads of ancestors, other head based skullduggery in pre-christian Ireland.

    The head could be older and more important than some mere saint.

  9. “It’s certainly the head of somebody” reminded me of the line from Plan Nine From Outer Space: “But one thing’s sure. Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.”

  10. Some of these comments remind me of that joke that ends…

    “… I dunno – I never found her body”

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