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Terrifying thrill-ride

Cory Doctorow at 2:11 pm Tue, May 8, 2012

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This insane (Russian?) theme-park thrill ride nauseates me even at 320x240 11fps. I think if I was actually in its presence, I'd boot so hard that I'd open a wormhole to another dimension.

Amusement Level: Crazy (via Danny's Land)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE:  Gadgets • russia • themepunks • video • youtube

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=695903977 John Neumann

    There are similar rides in the US.  . . . I won’t get on them but its fun to watch for falling change from peoples pockets and the crash of cellphones. 

  • http://twitter.com/bbum Bill Bumgarner

    Harrharlhalahgahpbpbbphhbpbpbbjlltltbtbbtttttt…. >ppppttt<

    • Sparg

       Because of that I’d prefer the ride to have a single row of seats.

  • Jeffrey Duckworth

    Looks like a giant robot trying to shake the bits of schtuff from a giant keyboard.

    • Snig

       I was thinking it looked like a kitchen uni-tasker designed to get icecubes out of the tray.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/OKEONAMLFIOS5WI7MPQY6SXBCQ IRMO

    Wait, what, I don’t even…

    That’s not how they’re supposed to run, is it? 

    The rides I’ve seen in the US have the two arms stay aligned the whole time, and the people get spun in 2 epicycles. 

    • http://www.captainpainway.com/ Captain Painway

      The ones made in the US are made by HUSS, and you’re right, the arms move together. But there are some foreign companies that make the ride where you can control the arms independently.

      I’ve only ridden the normal Top Spin rides, and those are terrifying. I couldn’t even imagine being on that crazy Russian thing.

      • http://avarana.blogspot.com MarlboroTestMonkey7

         In Soviet Russia the top spin is you

  • GawainLavers

    In Soviet Russia, amusement parks ride you!

    It should do a little twist at the end, just to shake the excess urine and vomit off.

  • LinkMan

    Ever since we canceled the Shuttle program Russia has been going into overdrive training Cosmonauts to take over the ISS.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mer.rutter Meredith Ann Rutter

    I’m not so sure this isn’t exactly how the Harry Potter ride at Universal/Orlando works — it sure felt that way while I was in it!

  • Donald Petersen

    That was ralphtastic as it was, but I was dismayed at how deliberate and surprisingly slow its motions were.  Like it was perfectly capable of being operated much, much faster.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/OKEONAMLFIOS5WI7MPQY6SXBCQ IRMO

      Be sure to go there and let them know.

      You have my blessing.

    • http://disqus.com/Kimmoth/ Kimmo

      Yeah it seemed like a pretty tame program compared to its obvious capabilities…

      Maybe that’s just all it takes to relieve everyone of their valuables.

  • Mister44

    Somewhere there is an engineer giggling at his revenge for all those wedgies.

  • beerwhisperer

    Next up on “When amusment rides go wrong”

  • Mike Guerrero

    FYI, that sweet fake-Journey track? According to Soundhound, it’s ‘Trava u doma’ by Zemliane. Also, I love how the spinning carriage mutes the screams, so you hear AHHHHHH…….AHHHHHH………AHHH!

  • BBNinja

    In Soviet Russia…there are no gay people. ”There are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that.” -Yakov Smirnoff
    (you thought it was going to be a X does Y joke right?! Nope. Not even close.)

  • Calum Halpin

    They’re really not as bad as they look, I rode a similar one that had a stretchy section in the middle rather than hinged arms. That was much more interesting.

    • joeposts

       Like a giant hammock? That would be awesomely dangerous.

      • Calum Halpin

         It was just like this one but in two sections, connected by a big piece of concertina’d rubber (presumably covering hydraulics) like those bendy buses have.

  • noggin

    …and then there was a deafening “ka-CHUNK!”…

  • steveboyett

    ZOMFG I want to go on this SO BAD. If it looks like an astronaut training device, I’m in.

  • http://newnumber6.livejournal.com Peter

    I imagine if you somehow managed to get somebody aboard the ride without showing them how it normally runs, there’s a point where they’ll be thinking  “Oh %#!%# it’s breaking!”

    I’d like to see a video of that experiment, please. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/stephen.schenck Stephen Schenck

    The ride in question is called Wind Shear.

    • Mark Dow

      A variation of Top Spin:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Spin_(ride)

  • Robert

    I can probably get the same experience for free at home by stuffing myself in the dryer and setting it on tumble dry.

  • derek prowse

    NYET

    • Der_Wafflemester

      NYET NYET NYET.

  • oldtaku

    What is problem? Is no different from flying Aeroflot.

  • z7q2

    I want to see the guy operating the ride, and what he does to operate it. My main curiosity being, are all the movements pre-programmed into the ride, or is the guy throwing levers to make the arms go back and forth however he feels like. I can imagine there might be some skill in getting the gondola to spin fast after it’s unlocked at the top of the ride by finessing the lever controls.

  • http://twitter.com/ScissorNightRam Lennoxx Bllaze Wesst

    The Wipe Out at Dream World in Australia. Faster, but ties itself in fewer knots.

    Who designs these things? Best engineering job in the world!
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap8m7S-_VBM 

  • David Kopelman

    Perhaps there’s provision for vomit recapture therewith to lubricate those epic ball-joints.

    • bcsizemo

      It probably should have built in pressure washers to clean the floor and seats between each session..

  • jpmilner

    “I’d boot so hard that I’d open a wormhole to another dimension.”

    Bravo, sir. Bravo. When I read that I’m pretty sure I pulled something from laughing too hard.

    • noah django

       haven’t heard “boot” as a euphemism for “vomit” in probably 20 years, and that was in Tennessee; it was considered novel then and there.  is it a traditional term in Canada or the UK, Cory?

      • garyg2

        Can’t say I’ve ever heard the term before (born and bred UKanian).

      • acidrain69

        You obviously don’t watch “The Office”

      • Donald Petersen

        The college kids today in the States use it, often in the context of “boot & rally,” which is a stage during one’s evening drinking bout when one purges the current payload of slightly-used alcohol in order to down a few more drinks.

        Sounds wretched to me, but I also find Jolt cola to be a bit stiff.

      • Sparg

         First time I heard “boot” was from New Englanders and New Yorkers around ’82 while in the Army.

  • http://www.theblacklaser.net/ Joe The Wizard

    Does this remind anyone else of David Elsewhere’s dancing in that old Kollaboration video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUz4OLQi_uw

  • http://twitter.com/SunShine_K SunShine_K

    Consider this added to my bucket list…

    • Donald Petersen

      “Another bucket for monsieur… and perhaps a hose.”

  • cstatman

    the Zipper is more awesome with speed and danger.   http://www.ride-extravaganza.com/thrill/zipper/

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqnKQ2gxT2g

    • http://disqus.com/Kimmoth/ Kimmo

      Done the Zipper a couple of times; due to its random nature, one ride was pretty intense and the other was relatively humdrum.

    • Preston Sturges

      The site says today’s Zippers run at 1/2 the speed of the originals.  I seem to recall there were some deaths, and that was before today’s meth addled carnies.

      • beepbeep

         Wait. I thought that ‘meth addled’ had always been a carny job requirement…..

    • Sparg

      Thanks for the reminder of getting showered with puke while on the Zipper.  I also loved the Round Up as a kid.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4rgKOTMkpg

  • VibroCount

    You, too, can own one: http://www.zamperla.com/en/product/142/backflash-susp-windshear.html?category_id=4
     
    Check out the seller’s/manufacturer’s video!

    • http://writebastard.tumblr.com/ Ian Wood

       From the site:

      “Backflash features a unique floorless seating arrangement where riders legs dangling freely!”

      Also now baskets for capturing the separation of limbs!

  • Neil Soloman

    Thank you Cory for consistently posting wonderful bits of mutant life…
    (daily viewer since 2005)

  • danimagoo

    There are not enough guns on planet Earth to force me to get on that ride. Not that that’s saying much. It takes significant bribery just to get me on a kiddie coaster.

  • http://rugshd.com/ rugshd

    OH wow… I can’t decide which is scarier: the music or the ride. Doesn’t look like fun looks like a day of vomit!

  • crummett

    1. Agreed, it needs to be much faster.
    2. I was waiting for the end when the restraints come off and it tips forward, dumping everyone off. Fun!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/4PTOIG25MC6GZQNM34LOZCM3ZI leia

    Not Russia, Austria – the “Prater” in Vienna…

  • james james

    I’d be Russian to get off that ride.

    • Sean Nelson

      There was no “Groan” button, so I had to click “Like”.

  • TheMudshark

    There is one like it at the Prater, but it´s not this one.
    Anyway, we apparently have a cat cafe now, making thrill-rides pretty much obsolete.

  • Hubert Taler

    Awesome comments below the youtube video, for instance:

    “*YAWN* you know what a crazy ride is? The ones at the local Fairs…. How brave do you have to be to climb into a swing set powered by a 20 year old tractor engine, disassembled and reassembled 3 times a month by a guy who gets paid $8 an hour to smoke and stare at teenage girls… You know, they type of guy that hammers back 2 bottles of Jack a night and takes a shower once a year…. YET you trust he put the ride together sober and of sound mind…. That my friends is a “Crazy ride”"

  • Antoine

    This one (Drop Zone, it was called) was more terrifying in my view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzP9dboKyz8 (at around 3:00, you get the full speed treatment).

    I honestly thought then that I was going to be ejected by the centrifugal force to smash on a nearby building ;-)

    Fun rides…

    • beepbeep

       Dear Lord! That sucker lasts for nearly 4 and a half minutes?!?!?!?

      • Antoine

        Oh yes, it was hell ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shaun-Watkins/286800375 Shaun Watkins

     Looks like Ripsaw at Alton Towers in the UK – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0T7HkDlExI

    But with  extra twisty-bendyness…

  • Klaus Æ. Mogensen

    There was a Top Spin in an amusement park north of Copenhagen about 10-15 years ago. That was by far my favorite ride because of the variation, and I did not find it at at all vomit-inducing. Would be interesting to try this variation, though it did seem awfully slow when the arms weren’t synchronized.

  • CognitiveDissident

    It’s nice to see that someone repurposes/recycles their old Trebuchets.