Cory Doctorow at 2:11 pm Tue, May 8, 2012
ADVERTISE AT BOING BOING!
This insane (Russian?) theme-park thrill ride nauseates me even at 320x240 11fps. I think if I was actually in its presence, I'd boot so hard that I'd open a wormhole to another dimension.
Amusement Level: Crazy
(via Danny's Land)
There are similar rides in the US. . . . I won’t get on them but its fun to watch for falling change from peoples pockets and the crash of cellphones.
Because of that I’d prefer the ride to have a single row of seats.
Looks like a giant robot trying to shake the bits of schtuff from a giant keyboard.
I was thinking it looked like a kitchen uni-tasker designed to get icecubes out of the tray.
Wait, what, I don’t even…
That’s not how they’re supposed to run, is it?
The rides I’ve seen in the US have the two arms stay aligned the whole time, and the people get spun in 2 epicycles.
The ones made in the US are made by HUSS, and you’re right, the arms move together. But there are some foreign companies that make the ride where you can control the arms independently.
I’ve only ridden the normal Top Spin rides, and those are terrifying. I couldn’t even imagine being on that crazy Russian thing.
In Soviet Russia the top spin is you
In Soviet Russia, amusement parks ride you!
It should do a little twist at the end, just to shake the excess urine and vomit off.
Ever since we canceled the Shuttle program Russia has been going into overdrive training Cosmonauts to take over the ISS.
I’m not so sure this isn’t exactly how the Harry Potter ride at Universal/Orlando works — it sure felt that way while I was in it!
That was ralphtastic as it was, but I was dismayed at how deliberate and surprisingly slow its motions were. Like it was perfectly capable of being operated much, much faster.
Be sure to go there and let them know.
You have my blessing.
Yeah it seemed like a pretty tame program compared to its obvious capabilities…
Maybe that’s just all it takes to relieve everyone of their valuables.
Somewhere there is an engineer giggling at his revenge for all those wedgies.
Next up on “When amusment rides go wrong”
FYI, that sweet fake-Journey track? According to Soundhound, it’s ‘Trava u doma’ by Zemliane. Also, I love how the spinning carriage mutes the screams, so you hear AHHHHHH…….AHHHHHH………AHHH!
In Soviet Russia…there are no gay people. “There are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that.” -Yakov Smirnoff
(you thought it was going to be a X does Y joke right?! Nope. Not even close.)
They’re really not as bad as they look, I rode a similar one that had a stretchy section in the middle rather than hinged arms. That was much more interesting.
Like a giant hammock? That would be awesomely dangerous.
It was just like this one but in two sections, connected by a big piece of concertina’d rubber (presumably covering hydraulics) like those bendy buses have.
…and then there was a deafening “ka-CHUNK!”…
ZOMFG I want to go on this SO BAD. If it looks like an astronaut training device, I’m in.
I imagine if you somehow managed to get somebody aboard the ride without showing them how it normally runs, there’s a point where they’ll be thinking “Oh %#!%# it’s breaking!”
I’d like to see a video of that experiment, please.
The ride in question is called Wind Shear.
A variation of Top Spin:
I can probably get the same experience for free at home by stuffing myself in the dryer and setting it on tumble dry.
NYET NYET NYET.
What is problem? Is no different from flying Aeroflot.
I want to see the guy operating the ride, and what he does to operate it. My main curiosity being, are all the movements pre-programmed into the ride, or is the guy throwing levers to make the arms go back and forth however he feels like. I can imagine there might be some skill in getting the gondola to spin fast after it’s unlocked at the top of the ride by finessing the lever controls.
The Wipe Out at Dream World in Australia. Faster, but ties itself in fewer knots.
Who designs these things? Best engineering job in the world!
Perhaps there’s provision for vomit recapture therewith to lubricate those epic ball-joints.
It probably should have built in pressure washers to clean the floor and seats between each session..
“I’d boot so hard that I’d open a wormhole to another dimension.”
Bravo, sir. Bravo. When I read that I’m pretty sure I pulled something from laughing too hard.
haven’t heard “boot” as a euphemism for “vomit” in probably 20 years, and that was in Tennessee; it was considered novel then and there. is it a traditional term in Canada or the UK, Cory?
Can’t say I’ve ever heard the term before (born and bred UKanian).
You obviously don’t watch “The Office”
The college kids today in the States use it, often in the context of “boot & rally,” which is a stage during one’s evening drinking bout when one purges the current payload of slightly-used alcohol in order to down a few more drinks.
Sounds wretched to me, but I also find Jolt cola to be a bit stiff.
First time I heard “boot” was from New Englanders and New Yorkers around ’82 while in the Army.
Does this remind anyone else of David Elsewhere’s dancing in that old Kollaboration video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUz4OLQi_uw
Consider this added to my bucket list…
“Another bucket for monsieur… and perhaps a hose.”
the Zipper is more awesome with speed and danger. http://www.ride-extravaganza.com/thrill/zipper/
Done the Zipper a couple of times; due to its random nature, one ride was pretty intense and the other was relatively humdrum.
The site says today’s Zippers run at 1/2 the speed of the originals. I seem to recall there were some deaths, and that was before today’s meth addled carnies.
Wait. I thought that ‘meth addled’ had always been a carny job requirement…..
Thanks for the reminder of getting showered with puke while on the Zipper. I also loved the Round Up as a kid.
You, too, can own one: http://www.zamperla.com/en/product/142/backflash-susp-windshear.html?category_id=4
Check out the seller’s/manufacturer’s video!
From the site:
“Backflash features a unique floorless seating arrangement where riders legs dangling freely!”
Also now baskets for capturing the separation of limbs!
Thank you Cory for consistently posting wonderful bits of mutant life…
(daily viewer since 2005)
There are not enough guns on planet Earth to force me to get on that ride. Not that that’s saying much. It takes significant bribery just to get me on a kiddie coaster.
OH wow… I can’t decide which is scarier: the music or the ride. Doesn’t look like fun looks like a day of vomit!
1. Agreed, it needs to be much faster.
2. I was waiting for the end when the restraints come off and it tips forward, dumping everyone off. Fun!
Not Russia, Austria – the “Prater” in Vienna…
I’d be Russian to get off that ride.
There was no “Groan” button, so I had to click “Like”.
There is one like it at the Prater, but it´s not this one.
Anyway, we apparently have a cat cafe now, making thrill-rides pretty much obsolete.
Awesome comments below the youtube video, for instance:
“*YAWN* you know what a crazy ride is? The ones at the local Fairs…. How brave do you have to be to climb into a swing set powered by a 20 year old tractor engine, disassembled and reassembled 3 times a month by a guy who gets paid $8 an hour to smoke and stare at teenage girls… You know, they type of guy that hammers back 2 bottles of Jack a night and takes a shower once a year…. YET you trust he put the ride together sober and of sound mind…. That my friends is a “Crazy ride””
This one (Drop Zone, it was called) was more terrifying in my view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzP9dboKyz8 (at around 3:00, you get the full speed treatment).
I honestly thought then that I was going to be ejected by the centrifugal force to smash on a nearby building ;-)
Dear Lord! That sucker lasts for nearly 4 and a half minutes?!?!?!?
Oh yes, it was hell ;-)
Looks like Ripsaw at Alton Towers in the UK – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0T7HkDlExI
But with extra twisty-bendyness…
There was a Top Spin in an amusement park north of Copenhagen about 10-15 years ago. That was by far my favorite ride because of the variation, and I did not find it at at all vomit-inducing. Would be interesting to try this variation, though it did seem awfully slow when the arms weren’t synchronized.
It’s nice to see that someone repurposes/recycles their old Trebuchets.
Mail (will not be published) (required)