Five animated mashups we might desperately need

Marvel superheroes are going on summer vacation with Phineas and Ferb, and Archer is going to Bob's Burgers. When you consider what it would mean stylistically and comedically, cartoon mashups can be a pretty beautiful (and beautifully weird) thing. As a fervent supporter of them, as well as someone who has written her fair share of fan fiction, I have five suggestions for potential crossovers with shows that are currently on the air. Would any of them actually happen? Probably not, but we can all dream can't we?

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure there is zero chance of these actually happening.

The Venture Bros. and Metalocalypse

Rather than go into the merits of how perfect this would be, I'll just go ahead and write a pitch: Brock Samson is a huge fan of Dethklok, but when he finally has the chance to go to one of their epic concerts, he has to bring the boys -- and Dermott -- with him. And, as it turns out, The Monarch is trying to bribe Charles Foster Ofdensen to divulge information about Dr. Girlfriend's past dalliances with one (or more) of the band members. If he doesn't get the truth, The Monarch will blow the concert venue to kingdom come, so Brock has to stop it while the boys get to hang out with Dethklok. In the end, everyone at the concert dies because of some mechanical malfunction caused by H.E.L.P.E.R. Boom -- YUMMY.

Adventure Time and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Both of these shows are clever and trippy enough for us "big kids," and if they joined forces, it would be the animated equivalent of dissolving Pop Rocks in Mountain Dew. Which sounds gross, and I wouldn't touch the stuff, but I would look at it! I'm probably not the only one who would stop everything to watch the Ponies infiltrate the Land of Ooo while Princess Celestia did science experiments with Princess Bubblegum in the Candy Kingdom. But the biggest selling point for an Adventure Time-MLP mashup would be how the fantastical tones of both could allow for either show to take on either animation style. Even in the same episode. If that isn't a recipe for delightful, colorful, and whimsical fun, then I don't know what is.

American Dad and The Boondocks

File this one under "Won't Happen," but I'd so much rather watch this than The Cleveland Show. Especially if it's a Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? parody with Hayley Smith bringing home Thugnificent while Huey hacks into the CIA and prevents World War III. What could be so fun about these two shows meeting each other is that if one show took on the style of the other, it would make for such starkly different shows -- The Boondocks as a Seth MacFarlane show would be goofy and irreverent. American Dad as an Aaron McGruder show would be fierce. Visually, turning the Boondocks characters into cuddly-looking MacFarlane characters would be a really insane contrast to the badass anime-style characters on McGruder's show.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (or Whatever) and Squidbillies

Here is a crossover that I think is totally possible. Not only do they often air right next to each other on Adult Swim, but similarly to how H. Jon Benjamin ties Archer and Bob's Burgers together, they share a voiceover actor: Dana Snyder, who voices Master Shake and Granny Cuyler. Frylock would shoot the shit with Dan Halen. Meatwad and Rusty would get into mischief and learn important life lessons from each other while burning something to the ground. But mostly, the culture clash between suburban New Jersey and the Deepest Appalachian South would be a goldmine of material. And I'd really like to see Carl have a near-death experience and meet Squid Jesus.

Black Dynamite and The Clone Wars

This will never happen. The only thing holding this one together is that they both appear on Cartoon Network, but it will still never happen -- as much as it kind of has to. I defy you to find me one person who wouldn't like to see Black Dynamite battle Darth Maul and receive wise soundbites from Yoda in CG animation. Plus, Star Wars is originally from the 1970s, which is Black Dynamite's universe, so they're practically begging for a crossover. (Just hear me out!) Okay, so The Clone Wars is a kids' show, and Black Dynamite is profoundly not. But how could this be anything less than amazing? Something has to make this happen, somehow!