Tinfoil hats actually amplify mind-control beams

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51 Responses to “Tinfoil hats actually amplify mind-control beams”

  1. igpajo says:

    So by that, if my wifi sucks I should wrap my laptop or wireless adapter in aluminum foil?

  2. I guess it’s time for full body tinfoil costume..

  3. SamLL says:

    This paper was from 2005 and has already been rebutted since it only addresses EM radiation and not the “psychotronic rays” that apparently make up real orbital mind-controlling lasers. Truly, Boing Boing is behind the scientific leading edge in this apparently fast-moving subfield.

    • Maxwell Collins says:

      > This paper was from 2005

      Yes, most of the members of this “group of MIT students” now have tenure-track or corporate research jobs.  It was fun to see this turn up when googling my professor.

    • Lurking_Grue says:

      And we all know you need a lanthanum hat to stop Psycotronic rays.

    • Paul Renault says:

       Came here to say that, essentially, it failed because they’re using aluminum foil.  Everyone know’s it’s supposed to be made of copper foil.  Contrary to what Lyle says.

    • I’ve been using this as (comedic) reference material since it’s posting on the ‘net.  I could have sworn it was Boing Boing that led me to it in the first place.  But now that you’re getting around to it, strike while the iron is hot, I always say. 

  4. Judas Peckerwood says:

    My tinfoil toque picks up only transmissions from the TV Food Network.

  5. scatterfingers says:

    THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT ME TO THINK

  6. Aluminum foil does *not* have the same ray blocking properties as classic tin foil.

    Sheesh, I’d expect better research from someplace as prestigious as MIT.

  7. GawainLavers says:

    That’s why I carefully cut and spindle mine into a Faraday cage.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      See, that’s what I was wondering.  Since shoplifters have sometimes lined a bag with tinfoil (or Reynolds Wrap, I’d imagine in this day & age) to defeat RFID tag beepage on their way out the door with some degree of success, are these guys talking out their shiny metallic hats?

      • Syndaryl says:

         If they end up with a largely enclosed shape (when closing the bag, frex), instead of the “satelite dish pointed at your brain” shape that a hat makes, it could have quite different properties.

  8. Funk Daddy says:

    Pshhh lightweights. Literally.

    Mine’s made of lead and it has significantly strengthened my neck and upper back. My cats kept licking it, which seemed dangerous, so I tried it to see what all the fuss was and now I can’t stop either. I find it invigorating to remove it and have a few licks.

  9. Ramone says:

    Lead foil works better, but it’s heavy/not as good for the complexion.

  10. Ashley Yakeley says:

    Nobody uses tinfoil these days. 3M Velostat is considerably more durable and less conspicuous. http://www.stopabductions.com/

    • Ashley Yakeley says:

      It’s worth mentioning that the placebo effect is not the same as no effect. Suffering from “abduction” experiences must be pretty miserable, and if wearing a special hat helps stop them, then that cannot be considered irrational behaviour.

      Ann Druffel’s book has some other techniques, on the basis that “what is really going on” is a less pressing question than “how do I make it stop”. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0609802631/

    • Saltine says:

      That website is a little frightening: “Aliens will try to stop you from wearing the helmet both mentally and physically. Remember that they can read your mind. Before you make one they may try to influence you that you don’t need one. Once you start wearing a helmet they may harass you or perhaps threaten to kill a pet in retaliation. They are good at manipulating your spouse to have a conflict with you about wearing the helmet.”

      Funny. But also scary. I’ve had friends with SOs with bipolar disorder/schizophrenia. It’s not easy living with a delusional person, even without enablers like this Snoopy-helmet concocting nutty fudgebar.

    • jackbird says:

       “Only 1 failure since 1998″ !

  11. Chuck says:

    Obviously they put the hats on inside out. Duh.

  12. seanmchugh says:

    It’s funny even if it is not a joke; but it is.  It is impossible to get amplification from a passive device like a piece of aluminum, even if it is shaped into a resonant cavity.  All the +dB signals are either pickup from outside the network analyzer or a wink.

    • While the foil certainly can’t boost the signal, it can certainly focus incoming energy at a single point (similar to a parabolic dish). The receiver then sees more energy than it would’ve without the foil. There’s your gain.

  13. chris jimson says:

    We true believers have always known that LEAD hats are the only real way to block these invasive rays, and they are also good for toning up those neck muscles (currently I can crack walnuts between my chin and sternum.)

  14. Jemmy says:

    Haha! So funny to see this showing up again on the BoingBoing radar after all these years. It was Boinged back when it came out, here. Ali Rahimi, a friend of my brother’s and all-around genius (see his old-school phone handset hack from 2003 and muffin-eating technique) put out this study back in his MIT days. Yes, there have been rebuttals from the foil-hat advocates, but a REAL paranoid knows those guys are third-generation alien-hybrid impostors just trying to get you to amplify the mind-control waves.

  15.  Electromagnetics guy here. Let me offer some concerns and clarifications.

    Any ungrounded, unsealed piece of metal will be an ineffective shield. The attenuation curve shows a max of 20 dB of attenuation–not nearly enough to thwart most communication systems.

    Wrapping one’s entire body in metal mesh would be an excellent way to reduce incoming EM signals. You’d probably get 40-60 dB of attenuation at least up through the GHz range. Even just wrapping the head would be much more effective than a skullcap; although your neck allows high frequency fields to come through, high frequencies are seriously attenuated by the saline bag that is your fleshy body.

    Speaking of which, what is the government trying to reach with these waves? A subdermal implant is very plausible. The brain, less so. There’s an awful lot of salt water between even the outermost layer of your brain and the external world. Even more so if they’re trying to induce fear or aggression by stimulating your amygdala!

    If we’re concerned about subdermals or low frequency brain stimulation, a Faraday cage is the best option. To prevent high frequency brain stimulation, I suggest stuffing the ears and nostrils with RF absorptive material (salt water works fine) and breathing through an RF absorptive mask (a damp cloth does in a pinch).

    • Donald Petersen says:

      I’m hanging some grounding straps from my chainmail as I speak.  I may not be able to outrun ‘em in a footrace anymore, but they’ll never guess which way I’m gonna juke.

      Serpentine!

  16. Boundegar says:

    The joke’s on all of you, because the orbital mind control lasers do not use radio waves at all.  They use lasers, and shiny shiny foil is totally effective.  This article was written to make you take off the cap.  DO NOT TAKE OFF THE CAP.  Fnord.

  17. Sirkowski says:

    THIS EXPLAINS A LOT.

  18. Gyrofrog says:

    Wait a minute, after reading The Tripods, I thought we were supposed to avoid metal caps.

    Oh I see… Christopher was in on it.

  19. wingnutbuster says:

    Why wear tinfoil when you can sport a colander? 

  20. robdobbs says:

    The band The Dead Milkmen used to perform with tinfoil inside their hats. Now you know.

  21. This ornate brass hat with decorative leather bits has proven quite effective at blocking the mind control rays from a certain well-known hot air balloon.

  22. Aurvondel says:

    Seems like I’ve read this someplace before… maybe …  http://boingboing.net/2005/11/11/mit-study-on-aluminu.html

  23. LOL, Your kidding, MIT actually did a study on this stuff – i have made jokes about tin foil hats, but ive never had any reason to believe that it is true . I really can’t see as to how God would design his children to be vulnerable to thought projection by someone or something other than him. Of the small segment of the population who have a half hearted beleif in this gobblygoop, common sense tells me that there is only 0.1% of that same segment of population who are not capable of realizing that metal is a conducter of electricity ( which brain waves are made up of ) and can be used as an enhancement of radio signals.

    • Microwave Aduitory Effect (MAE) has been known of since Alan Frey was working with GE and Radar equipment in the 1960s and an clicking was heard, although no audible sound was being produced. It was decerned that the clicking noise was due to microwaves exciting the cochlear nerve.

      By 1975 they were able to transmit signals directly to one person in a room (he could ‘hear’ the counting of numbers) while others would not hear anything since no sound was being produced. It’s been hushed research since, and there is another form of MAE which actually heats the brain causing expansion. Extremely brief pulses generate a clicking in the skull. There are a couple defense contractors touting these technologies now. Seek and yee shall find… In addition, microwaves can be used to put a person into a fever state (either slightly to enhance their abilities or excessively to make functioning difficult or impossible) and can stop the beating of a heart.

      Everybody sing…. Despite all my rage I am stuck in a faraday cage…

  24. John K. says:

    They used ALUMINUM foil, not TIN foil (which, of course, hasn’t been made for many decades).

  25. cdh1971 says:

    I’m late to this comment party, I know. 

    I don’t really believe in aliens or government mindbeams. The reason I wear a tinfoil liner in my hat is to guard against ‘gaydar’. Parents – listen-up : adults can get by without the tinfoil hat liners (I wear one to set an example), but young boys and little girls especially need them until age 25. 

    The reason is that homosexual men transmit a beam called ‘gaydar’ that can turn young boys gay. Homosexual women transmit a beam called ‘lesbonicals’ that can turn little girls lesbian. 

    This information has been and continues to be suppressed by liberals and Log Cabin Republicans, but Google can help you find the truth. 

    Blessings!

    (Attached pic – click to enlarge – is of me hand-crafting custom tinfoil hats for the Sunday school class I teach. Doing the Lord’s work is so rewarding!)

  26. Jake59 says:

    If such “mind control” RF technology does exist, then the best way to counteract it is through the use of a professionally designed Faraday cage that significantly attenuates frequencies thought to be used for RF mind control tech. Do a google search for

    “holland shielding systems faraday cage”

    For a wide assortment of professionally designed, military grade, Faraday enclosures.

  27. Sydney says:

    This is New World Order PSYOP Tinfoil Hat Conspiracy! (NWOPSYOPTHC!)

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