Big news from Mars coming soon, maybe


104 Responses to “Big news from Mars coming soon, maybe”

  1. LinkMan says:


    • And Elvis.

      Please consider this your “Speculate wildly about what NASA may or may not have found on Mars” open thread. 

      • chenille says:

        Tripods. Ghosts.Yorps. Bat-webbed booger beings. Buggalo. A giant turbinium reactor. An ordinary teapot. A self-help book about how women are from Earth and men are from Jupiter. A pedestal with a single inscription among the lone and level sands.

        Just please, not more vaguely-bacteria-shaped-but-not-really things.

      • Jim Saul says:

        I’m hoping for stromatolites. Considering that Grotzinger himself has done award-winning work on deducing early atmospheric conditions on earth from fossilized stromatolite concretions… that might be what a lot of people have hoped to find.

        Notice the hitch in his voice when he talks about the possible significance of the data if it pans out. I don’t think the historic terms are an exaggeration.

        I don’t want anyone to risk crying wolf, but it’s going to be a frustrating couple of weeks.

        • Awesomer says:

          Oh man, that would be awesome if they found stromatolites. Especially if they predate the oldest ones on Earth.

          • Jim Saul says:

            Jumping many steps ahead of what’s reasonable, I’m really hoping for biological remnants with right-handed chirality… just to take single-genesis off the table and force us to assume that the universe is teeming with life.

          • Donald Petersen says:

            Why stop there?  I’m hoping for anything from a bottlecap to a bent halo to a collection of coprolites.

            These damned baby steps are killing me.

      • StCredZero says:

        > And Elvis

        In the Art-Bar in Columbia, SC, there used to be this awesome painting of a space-suited Elvis being helped onboard a ship by the Beatles dressed as Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band. 

      • R. Stevens says:

        Mars once supported intelligent life. We know this because the rover found ancient train tracks beneath the dust.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        The Lindbergh baby.

    • BarBarSeven says:

      Mars needs women, and it’s an employees market there… So pack your bags lady, opportunity awaits!

  2. IamInnocent says:

    So, they have proof that Martians aren’t bald after all ?

    • BillStewart2012 says:

      Yeah.  The headline about “Big News from Mars coming soon” was right next to the picture of the Visible Gummi.  I was hoping for some Mars Attacks! goodness.

  3. GawainLavers says:

    Perhaps they found the missing methane.  That would be suitably important without meriting the complete media blackout that I’d impose if I were having to confirm the veracity of a Thark fossil…

  4. Raziel Abulafia says:

    Something’s in the air!

  5. Michael Polo says:

    Watch it be the Statue of Liberty…..

  6. Frederik says:

    It’s probably a new kind of dirt that is common on Earth but they previously thought did not exist on Mars.

    • This one wins the award for most plausible. 

    • bzishi says:

      From what I understand, the results came from the SAM (Sample Analysis Module). It analyzes samples dumped into it by heating them up and checking for the gases released.

      If I had to bet on something that is claimed to be “world changing” I would bet they found amino acids. From what I understand about the rover’s landing point, it was chosen because it resembled a sedimentary basin (correct me if I’m wrong). Finding amino acids in water deposited sediment doesn’t prove there was life in the past, but it comes incredibly close.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Bandini Crater.  Man dares to go where only Martian beasts of burden have gone before.

      • wysinwyg says:

         Robot dares.  You give man too much credit.

        • Donald Petersen says:

          Well, that’s true.  My post was only funny for people who remembered the Bandini Mountain commercials.  Fella skis down a hill of Bandini fertilizer while the voice over intones “Bandini Mountain.  Man dares to go where only cows have gone before.  Bandini is the word for fertilizer,” as the skier falls face-down in the manure.

          I would have linked the commercial, if it existed on YouTube.  As it is, few people under the age of 40 will remember that commercial, but I thought I’d give it a shot.  Oh, well.

  7. DavidK44 says:


  8. Michael Hord says:

    The Golden Plates of Moroni?

    Eddie Izzard was right, the Mormons ARE from Mars!

  9. “My god, it’s full of stars.”

  10. gManiPhone says:

    it’s a picture of an angel. weeping. 

  11. Matthew Urso says:

    my retainer from 3rd grade

  12. If it’s oil, space program funding is going to *pun*. HURR HURR HURR

  13. sota767 says:

    Something is making a nest on top of Curiosity. They found a bunch of red ants in the soil. The rover fell into an underground stream.

  14. Large black granite slab

  15. Chesterfield says:

    Some folks on Reddit were speculating that they have found a compound or compounds that only form in water. This would pretty much prove that liquid water once flowed on Mars.

    • Sam Ley says:

      We pretty much already know that liquid water flowed on the surface of Mars. We were quite sure before, and Curiosity has already brought us to “really damn sure”. Of course, just having water is somewhat interesting, but knowing when, for how long, and whether something was wriggling in it would be interesting revelations.

    • bzishi says:

      I think the evidence for that is already overwhelming. For a “world changing” discovery, it has to be something more significant or else the scientists calling it world changing need to be thrown in Hyperbole Prison for a while.

  16. Snig says:

    A Starbucks that’s never busy, with lots of the comfy chairs. 

  17. sqyntz says:

    the entire cast of Gilligan’s Island, listening to the NASA press conference on an AM radio

  18. MarcVader says:

    So they found a Starbucks.

    Edit: Sigh. I thought I won the thread.

  19. Stefan Jones says:

    A thoat skeleton.

    Martian tripod assembly facility. ULLA! ULLA! ULLA!

    Dessicated corpse of Ambrose Bierce.

    Something that will make 99% of the population roll their eyes and vow never to let a NASA news leak get them excited ever again.

  20. Brainspore says:

    Calm your jets, everybody. It’s just a stupid viral ad campaign for that upcoming “Justice League” movie.

  21. helloworld49 says:

    I bet they just found that time loop again.

    • eviladrian says:

      Curiosity falls into a crater and lands on a pile of identical rovers.  As its batteries die, its camera picks up the flare of another rover landing…

  22. Sarah Thomas says:


  23. tomrigid says:

    My cheese, and who moved it.

  24. jimkirk says:

    Not a cat, Curiosity killed all of them.

  25. Christopher Friend says:

    Did they find my keys?

  26. mindysan33 says:

    They found Pyramids? “Kneel before the might of Sutekh!”

  27. flickerKuu says:

    If they say, “We found evidence of water.” I’m gonna smack them. Hopefully its fossils or amino acids.

  28. Peter says:

    I just hope we’re not left wondering, again:

    Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!(in terms of newsworthiness)

  29. Jim Kelly says:

    Sandworm coprolites.

  30. Guest says:

    *ahum*. Did they get a life yet? No, I’m just kidding, I love what they do.

  31. Jim Saul says:

    (o) (o) (o)

    (someone had to reference it)

  32. stillcantfightthedite says:

    A shadow ship???

  33. Aaron Hicks says:

    Curiosity’s pregnancy test strip has turned blue, but they can’t get a blood test to confirm it.

  34. petertrepan says:

    “We have groundbreaking, world-changing data that we can’t tell you about yet,”

    We have broken ground with Curiosity’s groundbreaking attachment, thus technically changing the world of Mars. We couldn’t tell you about it at the time because we have to abide by the announcement schedule.

  35. Guido says:


    After all the exagerations during the last 15 years or so (Arsenic life, martian microbes twice, etc), I am extremely skeptical. And I wish they would release proper papers before starting the grandiose claims. Is it only me?

  36. Socks. They found all the socks that disappeared in people’s dryers.

  37. pao_e_vinho says:

    They found a Yeti. That was it

  38. miasm says:

    The least exciting theory for which no physical proof had previously been directly observed.

  39. class_enemy says:

    Illudium Phosdex.

  40. webstu says:

    John Carter?

  41. Drabula says:

    a baby’s arm holding an apple.

  42. Robert says:

    They found The Truth, which really was Out There.

  43. Steve Miller says:

    J’onn J’onzz

  44. Luther Blissett says:

    There we go: radiation levels allow long-term missions on mars. Gamechanger?–but-the-trip-there-isnt.html

    Just BTW, the NASA-Websites are a multimediaoverloadjavascriptblinking nuisance. What on earth (and in space) is driving these web designers?

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