Pianist Richard Clayderman fails to sexually arouse tortoises

An attempt to mate Galapagos Tortoises in the presence of Richard Clayderman ended in failure Thursday, even after the reptiles were granted a virtuoso performance of Chariots of Fire by the French pianist. Clayderman was unable to get the wrinkled beasts turned on even after renditions of his sensual classic, Ballade pour Adeline, and a movement from his latest album, Romantique. [The Guardian]
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