Dennis Rodman's pick for pope

Former NBA star Dennis Rodman has chosen Ghanaian Cardinal Peter Turkson (of "in Africa homosexuality is not countenanced" fame) as the next pope, reports the AP. Previously.


  1. Wait, not Kim Jong Un?  Did they have a falling out?

    In fairness, the world would be way more interesting, if no less horrific, if Dennis Rodman had either of their positions.

  2. Wut???  Is he even Catholic? Apparently, he was sent by the bookie in Ireland who gave Turkson 3 to 1 odds of becoming pope. Oh, and if Turkson was elected, he wouldn’t be the first African pope, either…. for example, this guy, who was possibly a Berber:

    I’m trying to figure out why I care so much about this. I’m kind of obsessed. I’m not Catholic (though my extended family is). I’m not even Christian. Still, I’m hanging on the edge of my seat for the white smoke out the chimney. I blame the media.

      1. Weirdly, I think I’d care without the gambling. Maybe it’s just procrastination over papers I have to write….  I CAN’T WORK ON THAT PRESENTATION, WE HAVE A POPE TO ELECT, PEOPLE!!!

        EDIT: I pulled myself away from the Pope stuff for long enough to write a paragraph! I need applause here people!!!

  3. As Rodman basically lived in gay clubs when he was on the Bulls, and having personally witnessed Rodman in make-up and feather boa (with Eddie Vedder) at such a club, I would guess that Rodman does not know the Cardinal’s views on homosexuality.

      1.  Reading only the blurb posted by BB, one could infer that Rodman supported the Cardinal for his views.

  4. Rodman’s choice is actually a stroke of genius. Installing uber-homophobe as pope would cause the entire system to go full-tilt and crash. That or MIB was right and he really is an alien bent on world domination.

    1. I don’t share your optimism.  I rather suspect that current dwindling of Catholic numbers in Western Europe and North America (which contain about 1/3 of all Catholics) would accelerate somewhat, but that in Latin America, Africa, and Southeast Asia (which contain a bit over 1/2 of all Catholics) any such effect would be negligible.

      1. Latin America is moving rather strongly towards gay rights. And the troglodyte elements are moving rather strongly away from Catholicism and toward evangelical churches, LDS, the JWs and, who knows, maybe Scientology next.

        1. Or something weirdly Latin, like mix Catholicism with native religion and a TV show and call themselves Lambs of God.  Not just a joke – a hint of seriousness there too.  It’ll come from Brazil.

  5. If we’re going to look to retired athletes for input on the Papal conclave then shouldn’t we be consulting people like Ozzie Smith? At least HE used to be a Cardinal.

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