I use my $(removed) kitchen shears to chop lettuce. I put lettuce in a salad bowl, stick in the shears, and make a bunch of random cuts until the volume of the lettuce drops to a reasonable level. I also use shears to cut pizzas, open plastic bags, cut chicken, open boxes, and lots of other stuff. They frequently go missing because my wife and kids take them to use in another room. There's not much I can do about that other than gnash my teeth and curse the universe for allowing me to be born in such a world.
They clean up in the dishwasher.
