Quartz editor Gideon Lichfield has published a science fictional vignette depicting the final backstage moments before the 2025 inauguration of President Mark Zuckerberg's second term.
Which is how we get to today. Of course, there are safeguards. We’ve built it so there’s basically no risk of a misvote. As the election approaches, you’ll start getting reminders—sporadic at first, then gradually more insistent, until you can’t even use one of our services without seeing them. The reminders will say: Based on the data Facebook has about you and your friends, we predict that you will vote for so-and-so. Is that right? And if you’re already a decided voter, you say yes or no. (We reckon less than 0.1% will say no, because our prediction models are that good.)
Then you can forget about it; your civic duty is done. On election day itself, Facebook will cast your vote for you. If you change your mind before then, you can always change your choice.
If, on the other hand, you’re undecided, you say so. Then we’ll keep nagging, right up until the polls close on election day. And then, if you still haven’t told us how you want to vote, we’ll cast a vote for you all the same.
You say that’s creepy? Look: In most elections, the undecideds will be less than 5% by election day. And of those, only a small fraction will get to the end of the day without telling us their decision. And even of those, we will still be able to predict, 999 times out 1,000, where they would have ended up. So while there may theoretically be people who never get around to telling us their choice and for whom we cast the wrong vote, they will be vanishingly few. By contrast, the number of new voters will be huge.
Democracy 3.0: A science-fiction story about what comes next in America
This brainfart from the Republican speaker of the house dates to 2013, not the aftermath of his failure to pass 2017’s universally-loathed Obamacare replacement plan. Snopes: WHAT’S TRUE House Speaker Ryan said he would not give up on destroying the United States’ health care system. WHAT’S FALSE The statement was a gaffe that was taken […]
Trumpcare went down in flames yesterday, and the flames smelled faintly of burning Trumphair. But the president’s personal humiliation was shared with adviser Steve Bannon, according to reports, whose behavior around conservative Republicans made a joke of Trump’s ultimatum. Mike Allen quotes him thus: “Guys, look. This is not a discussion. This is not a […]
Republicans withdrew Trump’s favored legislative plan to replace Obamacare on Friday, understanding that they lacked the votes to pass it in the House of Representatives. This despite the president’s threat to leave Obamacare as law of the land if they did not give the American Health Care Act an up-or-down hearing today. The GOP bill—a […]
When you can’t wait for the world’s longest meeting to end, the mindless leg bouncing makes your boredom obvious and just annoys everybody else. Everyone knows the TPS reports need the damn cover sheet, but some sadistic colleague keeps forgetting, probably on purpose just to eat into your lunch hour. Enough is enough!While serving a […]
What could be more fun than a slingshot that shoots tiny airplanes? A slingshot that shoots tiny glowing airplanes of course! These toy planes are outfitted with ultra-bright LEDs, so you can fly all night without losing them in the trees.Whether you are a regular-sized child, or an overgrown adult one, these light-up flyers offer […]
You know the drill. You go to the dentist and they ask you how often you floss. You lie through your teeth and say, “every day!” (Bonus points if you have some cilantro or chives stuck in your gums from lunch). You don’t want to keep up the charade any longer, but rubbing that tiny strand […]