Dot-comedian John Hargrave, proprietor of The World's Only Comedy Website, says he waltzed through an airport security screening with a "medical device" — in fact, a locked, loaded, and live vibrator — shoved down the front of his slacks. According to Hargrave's online account of the incident, security agents spotted the device and pulled him aside for special screening. But they did finally let him board the plane, with the vibe still buzzing. Good thing he wasn't carrying something that more closely resembled a bomb, like, oh, toothpaste or bottled water. Snip:
I have had it with the airport security checks. They make us remove more and more clothing, while letting us take less and less on board. Soon we'll be shelling out $1000 for the privilege of traveling naked in a three-foot caged pen. We won't be allowed to eat, drink, or pee during the flight. Communication will be prohibited, except for furtive glances with the flight attendants — who, incidentally, will be robots with tasers.
(…) My question was this: are the security checks really any more effective? To find out, I decided to re-enact the classic scene from the
1974[1984] movie This is Spinal Tap, where bassist Derek Smalls puts a foil-lined cucumber down his pants, which is picked up by the security wand. Only I decided to go one better, by putting a buzzing vibrator down my pants.
Link. For the record, BoingBoing does not condone the pranking of TSA agents, no matter how flawed our country's air security policies may be. (Thanks, Dead Robot)
Update: Incidentally, a nearby thread on Hargrave's website leads us to the awesomest bad MySpace page ever. "This is what Liberace saw when he did cocaine," he says.
Reader comment: Anonymouse says,
While the war on moisture continues, one civilian antiterrorism expert [in the Philippines] was able to walk in with a plastic bomb on flights between Davao City and Manila. He placed the wires in a secret pocket near belt and C4 pieces of plastic explosives in shoe sole and in an electrical adaptor, which he later assembled in the lavatory and took pictures from his digicam as proof: Link.
Derek says,
With all the TSA posts, I thought I'd share my experience from a few weeks back. I watched as the TSA took a bottle of wine from a passenger, walked it out of the secure part of the airport, and dropped it into a public trash can. Link.
John says,
I was unable to find the TSA's official "war-on-liquids" position on chocolate, so I did an experiment. On leaving Denver, my test subject was definitely solid and raised no alarms. On my return trip, Birmingham, Alabama's heat had left this same chocolate bar an oozy liquid mess. The TSA screener pulled the limp wrapper (still sealed) out of my backpack (along with everything else), but then put it back in. I'd say that means liquid chocolate is not dangerous… but your screener might think otherwise.
Cory says,
As evidenced by the ducky logo, the "awesomest bad MySpace page" you referenced seems to have competed in Ze Frank's Ugly MySpace Competition, scoring in at #28: Link
