The present status of this quixotic and strangely persistent quest: 16 ducks carefully compressed into a square compartment with a quick-release cable, suspended vertically from the ceiling. It meets its intended purpose quite well, but one is inexorable drawn to the prospect of further optimization.
I propose each duck be attached by the mouth to a canister of compressed air, cabled to begin inflating as soon as the container is released, thereby increasing the pitch and volume of their cries.
(To be clear to any passing animal lovers, judgmental aliens, members of future civilizations, etc, this does not concern real ducks)
The Cinemagician has reversed it.