Nigel "Brexit" Farage, having tanked the UK economy, retires to "get his life back"

Nigel Farage, a stock broker who spent years pretending to be a working class lad in a flat cap, has announced that he is quitting as leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party because now that he has "[his] country back" he wants to "get [his] life back."

Farage, who perfected racist dog-whistling as a martial art, followed up on the Brexit vote by hurling ad hominems at the European Parliament while grinning like a constipated turtle.

Highlights of Farage's career in the EU include billing the taxpayer for £2M in expenses, as well as putting his wife on the payroll as a "personal secretary."

Farage quit the leadership last year after he lost his UK Parliamentary race in a landslide, but then changed his mind three days later.

Mr Farage said his "political ambition has been achieved" with the UK having voted to leave the EU.

He said the party was in a "pretty good place" and said he would not change his mind about quitting as he did after the 2015 general election.

Leading UKIP was "tough at times" but "all worth it" said Mr Farage, who is also an MEP. He added that the UK needed a "Brexit prime minister".

UKIP leader Nigel Farage stands down