We won't have Paul Ryan to kick around anymore

House Speaker Paul Ryan, an asshole, is quitting his job.

The Congressjerk announced that he would not seek re-election in 2018. He added that now that he's overseen adding $1.5 trillion to the US deficit with a tax bill that transfers enormous wealth to the 0.1%, his work in Congress is done.

He is planning to spend his retirement naked in a bathtub full of hundred dollar bills, with his family in Wisconsin.

Ryan insisted that the pending knife-duels among Republican leadership contenders would not be a distraction during the 2018 mid-term elections.

Ryan took over as House Speaker after ousting John Boehner, an ex-Congressjerk who now peddles weed.

House Speaker Paul Ryan won't seek re-election: 'I like to think I've done my part' [Phil Mattingly, Maegan Vazquez and Lauren Fox/CNN]