"A Scary Time (For Men and Boys)," a mockingly pitch-perfect ukelele protest song by Lynzy Lab

"Go vote."

A SCARY TIME

by Lynzy Lab

I CAN’T WALK TO MY CAR LATE AT NIGHT WHILE ON THE PHONE
I CAN’T OPEN UP MY WINDOWS WHEN I’M HOME ALONE
I CAN’T GO TO A BAR WITHOUT A CHAPERONE
AND I CAN’T WEAR A MINI SKIRT IF ITS THE ONLY ONE I OWN

I CAN’T USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER 7 PM
I CAN’T BE BRUTALLY HONEST WHEN YOU SLIDE INTO MY DMS
I CAN’T GO TO THE CLUB JUST TO DANCE WITH MY FRIENDS
AND I CAN’T EVER LEAVE MY DRINK UNATTENDED

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS
YEAH GENTLEMEN! BAND TOGETHER, MAKE SOME NOISE
ITS REALLY TOUGH WHEN YOUR REPUTATION’S ON THE LINE
AND ANY WOMAN YOU’VE ASSAULTED COULD TURN UP ANYTIME

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR GUYS
CAN’T SPEAK TO ANY WOMEN OR LOOK THEM IN THE EYES
ITS SO CONFUSING, IS IT RAPE OR IS IT JUST BEING NICE?
SO INCONVENIENT THAT YOU EVEN HAVE TO THINK TWICE

I CAN’T LIVE IN AN APARTMENT IF IT'S ON THE FIRST FLOOR
I CAN’T BE WEARING SILK PAJAMAS WHEN I ANSWER THE DOOR
I CAN’T HAVE ANOTHER DRINK EVEN IF I WANT MORE
I CAN’T MAKE YOU FEEL INVALID, UNSEEN, OR IGNORED

I CAN’T JOG AROUND THE CITY WITH HEADPHONES ON MY EARS
I CAN’T SPEAK OUT AGAINST MY RAPIST AFTER 35 YEARS
I CAN’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IF I'M HOLDING BACK TEARS
AND I CAN’T EVER SPEAK EARNESTLY ABOUT ALL MY FEARS

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR DUDES
CAN’T TEXT A GIRL REPEATEDLY ASKING FOR NUDES
CAN’T MAKE HER HAVE SEX WHEN SHE’S NOT IN THE MOOD
AND WHAT GIVES HER THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU ATTITUDE??

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR MEN
GIRLS LIKE TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE TO BLAME AND THEY’RE THE VICTIMS
HER DRESS WAS SHORT AND SHE WAS DRUNK, SHE’S NOT SO INNOCENT
THANK GOD YOUR DAD’S THE JUDGE AND YOU WON’T BE CONVICTED

OH WAIT...THAT’S RIGHT…

IT’S NOT SUCH A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS
THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD THE UPPER HAND, THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD A CHOICE
IT’S TIME FOR WOMEN TO RISE UP,
USE OUR COLLECTIVE VOICE
THE DAY TO VOTE’S NOVEMBER 6, SO LET’S GO MAKE SOME NOISE

(Thanks, Bob Pescovitz!)

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