My 'Magic 8 Ball' is ALWAYS unhelpful

Making your own decisions can be hard work. Often, I turn to my trusty Magic 8 Ball. How have things turned out? "Ask again later."

My Magic 8 Ball has the same pat 20 answers as every other Magic 8 Ball, so I can not imagine why it is never, ever helpful? Replies are never hazy, my 8 Ball is way off base.

Signs never point to yes, even when there is no other possible answer. Other people are told their outlook is good — but never me! "Cannot predict now?" WTF? What else does it have to do?

My Magic 8 Ball must hate me. I no longer talk to it. The 8 Ball just seethes.

Magic 8 Ball via Amazon