Kim Jong-un's not dead, he's at his seaside palace relaxing with his 2,000 sex slaves, say papers

No one really knows where Kim Jong-un is right now, but the New York Post and The Sun speculate that the supreme ruler of North Korea is at his seaside resort consorting with his "pleasure squad" of 2,000 sex slaves some as young as 13. "Foreign intelligence services think he's actually sheltering from the coronavirus pandemic in a secure luxury compound," reports The Sun:

The Pleasure Squad or Kippumjo began during the reign of North Korea's founder, Kim Il-sung, who is still considered the country's Eternal President, despite dying in 1994.

In the late 1970s, at the height of his power, he sent out his officials to scour the nation for its most attractive young women and girls to act as singers and dancers.

Some of them also began working as maids, but the most sexually attractive were ordered to become "comfort women" for powerful officials.

Many were aged around 13 and 14, and were sometimes even recommended for the sick service by their schools.

Image: Korean Central News Agency/Flickr Public Domain.