Being a despot sucks. International sanctions keep you from being able to import Game of Thrones DVDs or yellow cake uranium. No one ever tells you that there's food on your face and the anguished cries from your nation's gulags keep you and the rest of your family from getting a good night's rest. When you're not busy threatening the world with nuclear annihilation and when even having your enemies torn apart by dogs doesn't make you smile, it's time to melt away and take a vacation – get outta yer secretive nation!
Oh, if you happen to be from North Korea, you'll likely want to do it with a Brazilian passport.
According to Reuters, the despotic family of North Korean strongman Kim Jong Il attempted to leave their humanitarian crisis of a nation to visit western countries using illegally obtained Brazilian passports. It was long rumored that the Kims had been using forged travel documents for years to venture into the west in search of rest, relaxation and all of the shit that we don't want them to have because they're a terrible family doing horrendous things to millions of people. But up until now, no one, at least outside of the intelligence community, had ever seen any proof of it. That all changed this week when security sources provided Reuters with a photocopy of passports with Kim Jong Un and Kim Jong Il's photos in them. Unsurprisingly, the Brazilian government doesn't have much to say on the matter. Read the rest
"The most feared weapon of any dictatorship is satire," says Howard, the Australian who impersonated Kim Jong-un waving a United Korea flag in front of North Korean cheerleaders at the Olympics yesterday. He was rewarded with a none-too-happy response.
According to the impersonator, his stunt got him a kick in the shin and angry shouting by North Korean "tough guys." He was then detained by South Korean police, for his own safety, and wasn't allowed to leave until after the game had finished.
Via Mashable, where you can read more details. Read the rest
"I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire," said glorious North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, in response to US mentally deranged dotard Donald Trump's recent threats and name calling. The world is less stable.
Via The Hill:
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North Korean leader Kim Jong Un on Thursday fired back at President Trump's combative speech at the United Nations a day before, saying Trump will "pay dearly" for his threats.
"The mentally deranged behavior of the U.S. president openly expressing on the U.N. arena the unethical will to 'totally destroy' a sovereign state, beyond the boundary of threats of regime change or overturn of social system, makes even those with normal thinking think about discretion and composure," Kim said in statement brimming with rage and expressive language.
"His remarks which described the U.S. option through straightforward expression of his will have convinced me, rather than frightening or stopping me, that the path I chose is correct and that is one that I have to follow to the last," he continued.
Pyongyang's provocation came the same day that Trump announced new sanctions on the isolated country.
Kim referred to Trump as a "gangster fond of playing with fire, rather than a politician" in the statement, which was reported by North Korea's state news agency KCNA.
A rare joint alert from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation explicitly blames the government of North Korea for a series of hacking attacks on various American targets, dating as far back as 2009. The government alert warns that more such ”state-sponsored cyberattacks,” as they're known in security jargon, are likely to come.
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North Korea put on a musical spectacle to honor the birthday of the nation's founder, Kim Il Sung, ending with a video in which missiles rain down on the United States and burst into flames. The audience and the current leader Kim Jong Un appeared to love it.
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Police in Malaysia said Wednesday they want to question a senior diplomat from the North Korean embassy in their ongoing investigation into the recent killing of Kim Jong-nam. This twist suggests the possible involvement of the North Korean government in the deadly poisoning of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un's estranged half brother.
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If the history of North/South Korean loudspeaker aggression is any indication, we're looking at a high risk of bullets flying over the border soon. First comes the noise, then comes the artillery fire.
North Korea is doubling down on its loudspeaker psy-ops along the inter-Korean border in retaliation for South Korea's amplified K-pop music and shade-throwing at Kim Jung Un.
South Korea's loudspeaker broadcasts aimed at North Korea push the rivals to the "brink of war," a top North Korean official has told a propaganda rally, in the isolated country's first official response to the sonic barrage across its border.
North Korea's fourth nuclear test on Wednesday angered both the United States and China, which was not given prior notice, although the U.S. government and weapons experts doubt the North's claim that the device it set off was a hydrogen bomb.
In retaliation for the test, South Korea on Friday unleashed a ear-splitting propaganda barrage. The last time South Korea deployed the loudspeakers, in August 2015, it triggered an exchange of artillery fire.
"Jealous of the successful test of our first H-bomb, the U.S. and its followers are driving the situation to the brink of war, by saying they have resumed psychological broadcasts and brought in strategic bombers," said North Korea's Kim Ki Nam, who is head of the ruling Workers' Party propaganda department.
State media on Friday published this sick burn of an official insult along with photos of a rally on Friday which suggested that thousands of people gathered in central Pyongyang, holding signs honoring leader Kim Jong Un. Read the rest
From "North Korea Has a Friend in Dennis Rodman and VICE." Not 'shopped; you can tell by the pixels.
Argo 2.0? Former NBA star and noted weirdo Dennis Rodman told ABC News' George Stephanopoulos today that he returned from a trip to North Korea arranged by VICE with a message for President Obama from Kim Jong Un:
“He wants Obama to do one thing: Call him,” Rodman told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on “This Week.” “He said, ‘If you can, Dennis – I don’t want [to] do war. I don’t want to do war.’ He said that to me.”
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North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un aims a rifle at the Sporting Bullet Factory, built in 1996 at the order of the North's late leader Kim Jong-il. The factory produces "sporting bullets" for developing military sports. Its exact location is undisclosed. Undated picture released by the North's KCNA news agency in Pyongyang, on February 23, 2012. Wonder what sort of computers those are, and what they're running? (REUTERS/KCNA) Read the rest