Dave Eggers on getting a COVID-19 test

From Boing Boing pal Dave Eggers' pitch perfect opinion piece in the New York Times:

Q: I think I have it.

A: Have what?

Q: It. I've got extreme fatigue, migraines, chills, aches, nausea and a fever of 102.

A: Are we talking about coronavirus?

Q: We are. I'm worried. I'm 50. People my age are dying.

A: That does sound concerning. Let's get you tested.

Q: OK, I'm ready.

A: You mean now?

Q: Of course.

A: Oh, you can't do one now.

Q: Why not?

A: How's late next week look for you?

Q: Late next week? I'm sick today.

A: We have three appointments in mid July. Wait. Those were just taken. How's your end-of-month?

Q: We're four months into the pandemic. It still takes that long to get a test?

A: It depends. Looks like Tulsa has a drive-through thingie tomorrow. Are you anywhere near Tulsa, Okla.?

Q: No.

A: Keystone, S.D.?

Q: No.

A: Well, then it could take longer. Where are you?

Q: San Francisco.

A: Oh, then it'll be a lot longer. Let me make sure … Let's see … Typing in 'San Francisco' … Is that two S's or two C's? No, I got it. Whoa, looks like a lot of people want tests where you are.

Q: And you don't have enough?

A: Oh, we have plenty of tests. We just don't have appointments. You need an appointment to get a test, and the appointments — these we don't have.

"Testing, Testing" (New York Times)

image: US CDC's COVID-19 laboratory test kit (public domain)