The "Holy Spirit Board" is Ouija for Jesus

Ouija Boards have historically been a source of absurd Satanic panic for certain sects of White Christian Nationalists in America. As one recent article on warns:

Many advertisements and endorsements will try to pass off Ouija boards as being a harmless children's game, but it is not. Ouija boards are directly related to the occult and Christians need to abstain from participating in the use of Ouija boards.

Deuteronomy 18:10-12 warns us, "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you."

Ouija boards are not "magical" boards nor are they providing you with the ability to talk to your loved ones who have passed away. When a person participates in playing with a Ouija board, they are directly communicating with demons. Satan and his demons are always trying to deceive mankind.

But now, there's a new hope for Christians who wish to get freaky by nudging a planchette without invoking Satan! Or, well, maybe. Depending on who you ask. Anyway, it's the Holy Spirit Board — a "Christian Religious Talking Board" that, according to the box, will allow you to "communicate directly with Jesus Christ!"

Even better is that, according to the official game description:

Unlike other spirit boards that are often used to contact ghosts and demons, this is a one way ticket straight to heaven. Try it today, and discover a new way to pray!

Most of the Amazon reviews seem pretty satisfied with their definitely-not-evil-ghost summoning experiences:

This board and box are absolutely gorgeous! Graphics and quality are all-around excellent. My only reason for 4 instead of 5 stars is that the board is kinda flimsy, and could be made out of stronger cardboard.

Also, the messages I'm getting from Jesus are odd – he says his actual name is Asmodeus. Weird! But I still love it!


Like many others, I doubted the existence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I was foolishly thinking for myself and trying to understand the world with my misguided logic, ignorant to the greater purpose of Jesus. The Holy Spirit Board has shown me not to rely on my own knowledge, but to trust in the words of the Lord!

With my newfound connection to Jesus, I have welcomed my Savior into my soul that he might come inside me again and again.

I see.

Oh, boy does this thing work! We're already using pet names for each other, and he insists I call him "Captain Howdy"!
Although things are slowed down by the fact that the board doesn't have any numbers (darn it, won't be winning the lotto anytime soon), this is offset by how ACTIVE He is, full of all sorts of gossip about neighbors and even new stories! Today he's been telling me the story about D'Plagius The Wise!

Wait a second…

Of course, some reviewers were less than excited about this evil product:

This is pure evil and is just a Ouija board in disguise. Any Christian knows you don't need a cheap gimmick to communicate with our Lord. This will do nothing but subject your home to evil. Shame on Amazon for allowing these products to be marketed and sold on its platform. I did not nor would I ever recommend that anyone buy this product!

Okay then!

No actual Christian would by this game. This is even more evil than the actual ouija board. Play with the Lord and see what happens.

Weird threat but okay.

Holy Spirit Board