Who misses the days when the sitting U.S. President would bestow his wisdom on the world? For example, insisting that drinking chlorine would cure the non-existent COVID-19 virus, intentionally made in a Chinese lab to stop America from being great again. Or that after the riot of white supremacists in Charlottesville, there were good people on both sides. Or that the January 6 riot was a parade.
Well, fret no more; thanks to comedian and interweb deep-fake artist Brian Monarch, you can now hear Trump's swoony voice whenever you want, singing your favorite Buck Owen's country music classics and some of Trump's own ghost-written tunes – withholding payment from the author, of course.
"Remember when Donald Trump dusted off his old cowboy hat, and everyone thought he was getting back into country music? Well, that didn't happen. But here at Life Time Books, we have his new greatest hits collection. Country Trumpkin. All of Donald Trump's greatest hits delivered straight to your door."
The advertisement features Trump-as-Buck-Owens singing classics like "Under Your Spell Again," "Together Again," "How Long Will My Baby Be Gone, and "Made in Japan," among others.
This commercial is just a teaser of what you will receive if you order this album now with original song titles like:
"Hold These Small Hands"
"If Only She Weren't My Daughter"
"You Can't see My Tax Return."
"My Sweet Stormy"
"Grab her by the Pu$$Y"
"My Golden Shower Gal"
"You Can't Get Around My 'Wall'"
"Get your credit card ready and call our 1-800 number. Country Trumpkin is not available in stores and can only be purchased through Lifetime Books, and if you order in the next 30 minutes will cut another five dollars off the price. That's $14.99 on compact disc or cassette."
1-800-555-RUMP
This is a brilliant, nostalgic spoof of old Time Life (Lifetime) commercials selling books, music, and other media.
In March and June, you can catch Monarch's live improv in the Los Angeles area.
This might be Trump's attempt to match then-Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's designation by Rolling Stone Italy as the 2009 "rock star of the year."
