Finally, you can buy a pair of testicles for your Crocs

Have you ever seen a truck on the highway with a pair of silicon testicles dangling off the back and thought, "Wow! It's so cool that the person who owns that vehicle loves balls so much that they encouraged their completely unnecessary pickup truck to get gender-affirming surgery so it can show off its testicles to the other automobiles on the road?" Or perhaps you've wondered, hey, how come my feet don't have a scrotum dangling off the heel?

Well, you're in luck: because you finally buy a set of rubber testicles-in-a-scrotum to dangle off your Crocs, so that no one ever questions the gender of your recycled plastic shoes ever again! Plus, according to the description, they're highly personalized and unique—just like real nuts!

This shoe buckle jewelry is very personalized. Balls for croc adopts a unique nut shape, and the shape is unique and novel. It's cool that it hangs on your heel, swings back and forth, and adds so much character to your shoes! Croc nuts sack lets you grab everyone's attention in the crowd and make you more charismatic every day.

Even better, these shoe balls are available in a wide-range of colors, including:

Before you get too excited about your shoe balls, it's worth noting that a small fraction of people have been unsatisfied with the gender-affirming care received for their Crocs. One buyer complained that the 3D printed nuts have a rough, un-sanded finish that rubbed them the wrong way. Another was disappointed that the purple balls did not taste like grape, saying, "It's sad when a woman expects to taste deliciousness but ends up tasting generic ball flavor." There's also a risk that your Croc Balls might bruise your mom's heel, which raises a lot of questions that I don't want to answer for fear of accidental kink-shaming.