The Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group outlines a detailed taxonomy of the "most common, yet most puzzling, member of phylum Plasticae"–those little plastic clasps that tie the wrappers of loaves of bread.
Occlupanids are generally found as parasitoids on bagged pastries in supermarkets, hardware stores, and other large commercial establishments. Their fascinating and complex life cycle is unfortunately severely under-researched. What is known is that they take nourishment from the plastic sacs that surround the bagged product, not the product itself, as was previously thought. Notable exceptions to this habit are those living off rubber bands and on analog watch hands.In most species, they often situate themselves toward the center of the plastic bag, holding in the contents. This leads to speculation that the relationship may be more symbiotic than purely parasitic.
The bit is maintained with deadpan thoroughness through dozens of convincing genera and species, with binomial nomenclature evoking the designs (e.g. "Odontotrochidae" for "toothed wheel" occlupanids) and perfectly-toned scientific prose. I'm probably going to have nightmares about this now.
