Uri Geller explains how grey alien vaginas work

Uri Geller—the self-proclaimed psychic and telekinetic "spoon-bender" who became an international sensation in the 70s before being exposed—has recently been on a tear about aliens over on The Website Formerly Known As Twitter. At one point, Geller posted a "photo" of "alien cadavers" that had been shared with him by an unnamed intelligence source. Geller doubled-down, even after the photo was revealed to be a literal screenshot from an episode of The X-Files.

Not to be undone, Geller shared another photograph—this one given to him by a sci-fi author who claims to have been abducted—and then very earnestly began to examine what appears to be the alien's vagina. No, really:

In case you don't want to click through the Tweet Rant [emphasis added]:

My dear friends! I received this image from my friend Whitley Strieber ( Communion, The Hunger, Wolfen! And Alien Abduction ) Whitley said That this image is probably real. It is also of one of the beings that he sees, and have seen and been with.

He thinks it is real because of two things: the prominent vagina is immediately evident when you see them naked, but it is not commented on in the UFO Literature, because very few people actually see them, especially not naked.

Secondly. They reproduce in a manner very different from us. What in the world she's doing in a basement of an abandoned building in Mexico I cannot imagine. Probably, she was emerging from below the surface with the intention of going out into the area to fulfill various needs. She was surprised by the night watchman. Whitley believes that this image may be authentic. The primary reason is that the genitalia are true to life. Not many people have seen the gray people without covering, and this is an accurate representation of how a woman of this species appears naked.

The image is said to have been taken by a security guard in the basement of an abandoned building in Nuevo León Mexico in 2004.

Unless this is some kind of brilliant fake, when people look at this image, it is going to be looking back at them. Quite amazing!!!!

So there you have it, folks. Proof of alien life … by fact-checking the appearance of their weird alien vulvas from a blurry 20-year-old photograph (that certainly hasn't been altered!).

To further support his claims, Geller pointed to an official Israeli Defense Force report about a simulated alien invasion that was successfully thwarted by members of an air force training program.

Also worth noting: during Geller's original rise to fame, a group of researchers at the real-life Stargate Project at the Stanford Research Institute tried to verify his claims of psychokinetic power, on behalf of the US Defense Intelligence Agency. They published a paper confirming that, yeah, this guy seemed legit. One of the head authors on that paper was Hal Puthoff, an electrical engineer who'd taken an interest in the paranormal after a brief dalliance with Scientology. That's how he ended up getting involved in government-funded research into remote viewing and other psychic phenomena. Puthoff later went on to a number business ventures that purported unexplainable energy generation and propulsion capabilities, most of which was claimed to be enabled by his access to secret government technologies (implied to be extraterrestrial in origin). None of these patents ever actually worked, but they helped Puthoff raise money … which is how he came to co-found the To The Stars Academy for extraterrestrial studies alongside Blink-182's Tom DeLonge.

Well I guess this is growing up after all!