By Cory Doctorow at 9:56 pm Sat, Jul 26, 2008
arrr! be a good lass and give a hand ‘ere with this kielbasa, arrrr!
All sausages are now Captain Jack Sparrow.
Johnny Depp is just the wurst.
Now dont go giving the kids the wrong idea…
kielbasa? Capt. Jack is Polish? Yo ho ho and a bottle of WÃ³dka?
I’ve loved Johnny Depp ever since I saw him on 21 Jump Street..and that show sucked.
Now with the sausage..this is what love brings.
I feel a strange hunger.
remember Johnny Depp? well he’s back…in sausage form.
Making a joke about eating Captain Jack’s sausage would be just too, too obvious.
However, if we’re talking about Captain Jack Harkness now…is there a Ianto in the building?
Where is Long John Silver when he need be… Argh!
Duh… Long Dong Silver. Argh!!!
Soylent Green is Johnny?
I’ve said this many times, but…
He’s the only man I would eat!
…and the sausage is modelled on Keith Richards, just like Jack was!
Quick… hide the salami.
I thought sausage was supposed to be round
God phoned and mentioned that if you knew how Johnny Depp was made you wouldn’t want to eat him.
#3, #6: Back in the days of Jump Street, Johnny Depp was a Brat.
A Brat that ran in a Pack.
I’m sorry but this has nothing on Ted Nugent Gonzo Meat Biltong — sadly no longer in production.
A.) Can anyone think of any other instances where a celebrity in character (sorry Wango Tango Ted) endorsed a product other than toys and lunch-boxes? Another food product especially? I mean we’ve got Newman’s Own spaghetti sauce, but it’s not Cool Hand Luke’s Own. I’m sure there was something like Fonzi’s EZ-Cheez, since everything from ties to dish-towels got endorsed in the Happy Days heyday. It seems like Adam West’s Batman endorsed products of all descriptions too. Any of them foodstuffs? I don’t recall. (I guess we might want to exclude super heroes, since they have been handed down to different actors throughout their existence. Also wrestlers don’t count or it would be all beef jerky. Sorry, and Elvis doesn’t count either, though it could be successfully argued that he was playing a character that was himself.) Be sure to provide a link.
B.) If A proves too difficult, it might be fun to suggest food products that should have a character endorsement (sounds like a photoshop contest.)
Well, uh, Urkel Os…
star wars is a good one for this. Cereal boxes:
probably more stuff.
Oh, right, a link. LOOK UPON IT!
Talia@26: Nice! Yeah, you can’t get a better slogan for a breakfast cereal than “May the Force be with you… all day long!” Shouldn’t they have been midichlorian-o’s though? (If they had made little crunchy Death-Stars I would have a closet full of them, still sealed and unopened.
FOURFIVEFIRE@25: Was that for real?
45FIRE@27: …AND DESPAIR! (You’re in!)
Ok, there’s Scooby Doo Apple Sauce (I’m sure they have a b’fast cereal too.)
Um, this is no different from my daughter noticing Batman-endorsed Hawaiian pizzas in the supermarket freezer section. Yeah, the incongruity had my 7 year old daughter perplexed too.
“Daddy? Does Batman really like pineapple pizza?”
I couldnt answer for him – he also seemed to like capricosa and a few others besides.
I thought that was pretty good… but it lacked the innuendo value of the Depp endorsed meat substitute.
Urkel O’s did indeed exist. I tried a box when they came out… I was 12… and they were awful. I think they were strawberry and banana flavored O’s.
OIGEN@32: And this has to do with… sausage, I guess?
Oliver Stone’s brand of margarine – I Refuse To Believe It’s Not Butter.
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